Ivy Shen’s song hit like a tornado—everyone was just standing there, hair blown sideways, brains fried, totally unable to function. The whole crowd looked like they’d just been hit by a truck full of chaos.
As the song wrapped up, Ivy threw an awkward glance at Eli Crane. Before she’d started singing, his flute was smooth as silk, pure ear candy. But the moment her spicy lyrics dropped, his playing went all stuttery and nervous—dude was obviously shook to the core.
“Whoa, this is next-level dirty—so spicy, so wild!” the crowd hollered. It’d been forever since anything this loaded hit the streets, not since ‘Huluwa’ dropped. Everyone was losing their minds, jaws on the floor.
Yvonne Li sprang to her feet, eyes wide, staring at Ivy Shen like she’d just discovered a rare Pokémon—her whole face screaming, “I’m obsessed with talented people!”
Ivy forced a smile, silently roasting Yvonne Li: Girl, are you for real? If you’re into music, just listen to anything, but here I am—a modern woman who can hum rock, English pop, whatever. And you just HAD to ask for something dirty. If my college roommates hadn’t joked about lyrics like this, I’d be totally clueless!
"You... you’re seriously talented!" Yvonne Li blurted out, dropping a line that honestly sounded straight out of the 21st century.
Ivy gave another awkward little laugh. "Oh, it’s nothing, really."
“Mistress, this song might be kinda raunchy, but compared to ‘Huluwa’? Meh, not even close. Look at me—not even a little shocked!” Lanny, the blue-robed concubine, fluttered his lashes at Ivy, totally sassy, basically telling her, “You want to stay here? Keep dreaming.”
"Uh..." Yvonne Li hesitated, sneaking a look at Ivy. Even with the veil, that song had her heart doing backflips.
“Yeah, for real! If even Lanny—who’s picky as heck—didn’t get shocked, then this song’s just not it,” the pink-robed concubine piped up, backing Lanny all the way.
“Lanlan?” Lanny’s face soured when he heard the pink-clad guy call him by that nickname. With his campy manner, how could he be worthy of “Lanlan”?!
“Sounds great—totally shocking!” the crowd suddenly yelled. Clearly, they weren’t picky; honestly, this song was wild enough to blow their minds!
“Shut up!” Lanny roared, his voice flipping from girly falsetto to rough masculine shout, scaring everyone into silence.
“Don’t be rude!” Yvonne Li snapped, turning her head to scold him.
“Waaah, Mistress, Mistress, Lanlan didn’t mean it!” Lanny whined, putting on a pitiful act. “Lanlan’s just being honest—the song really didn’t shock me, Mistress. If Lanlan wasn’t shocked, you probably weren’t either. Lanlan knows you like musical talent, but she’s just got a little skill, nothing special. No need to let them move in.” He finished with a fierce glare at the group.
Butterfly Rogue couldn’t help but snap, “Shut up, you damn shemale!”
“What? Who are you calling a damn shemale?” Lanny shouted, totally scandalized.
“Yeah, I’m talking to you! Everyone else is shocked except you—clearly, you’re not normal. Must be a damn shemale, can’t think like a regular person,” Butterfly Rogue shouted.
Butterfly Rogue’s words made a bunch of townsfolk cover their mouths, giggling.
“Enough,” Ivy Shen suddenly raised her hand, then smiled at Yvonne Li. This woman was no pushover—she clearly loved the song, but it was missing some “fire,” and Lanny just happened to latch onto that. So the two of them started a double act, making it look like Ivy’s song hadn’t impressed her at all.
Nice bit of good cop, bad cop.
“Enough, I think she sang beautifully,” Yvonne Li finally admitted, then turned to Ivy Shen. “Miss, what’s your surname? How should we address you?”
Just call me Miss Shen.
Great, Miss Shen is truly talented. I, Yvonne Li, admire you. Don’t mind what they say.
“Hold up,” Ivy Shen waved her hand. “I always do things openly—I don’t leave people excuses to criticize me. If he says my song isn’t spicy enough, I’ll just have to embarrass myself with another one.” She’d spent the last few moments frantically inventing dirty lyrics in her head. Who knew if it’d work? Time to gamble—she knew she had to truly shock Yvonne Li to get her guard down.
“Oh? You’ve got another one?” Yvonne Li’s eyes lit up at Ivy Shen’s words.
“Whoa, another one? Another one!” The crowd buzzed, practically acting like they’d just had a shot of adrenaline over a song.
Eli Crane’s hand trembled at Ivy Shen’s words—his heart clearly couldn’t take much more.
Ivy Shen shot Eli Crane a tragic look; his face was bright red. She knew she needed him to play along, since only with music could she hit the right notes.
“I’m fine!” Eli Crane seemed to read Ivy’s mind and nodded solemnly.
The six husbands who weren’t involved watched Eli Crane with sympathy. Hearing the song was enough to blow them away, but poor Eli had to play flute accompaniment—now that was truly tragic!
Ivy Shen walked over to Eli Crane and quietly hummed the tune for him.
Eli Crane nodded. He had a superhuman memory—if you could hum the tune, he could play it perfectly, often even better than the original.
“Are you ready?” Yvonne Li asked, looking at Ivy Shen, full of anticipation.
Ivy Shen nodded, “This song is called ‘About Winter.’ What does that mean? Just that it was written in winter. All right, everyone quiet down.” She signaled Eli Crane to start playing.
Eli Crane began to play, and instantly, the beautiful, light melody touched everyone’s heart. With Eli’s unmatched talent, the tune sounded even better than the original—everyone was amazed.
Even Ivy Shen was dazed, staring blankly at Eli Crane while listening to this familiar, long-lost melody.
“Miss Shen…” Yvonne Li called, seeing Ivy lost in thought.
Softly, I’ll slide in—please help me out and push a little. Spread your legs, lift your hips, don’t be shy—bite down and suck hard, don’t hold back. I’m only going in a bit, so moan for me, please. Even if it’s dry, even if there’s no water, if we keep at it, it’ll work! When you’re not around, I have to do it myself; when I’m gone, use a cucumber instead. You ask me when I’ll finish, I quietly ask myself—not now, not sure when, but probably after I’m done. Not now, not sure when, but I bet it’ll be after I’m done~~~
With the flute and those lyrics, once again, the whole world was stunned—everyone held their breath.
“Huh?” Ivy Shen finished the song and only then noticed everyone was frozen. “Hey, I’m done singing!”
At Ivy Shen’s shout, everyone snapped out of it. The next second, the crowd erupted in thunderous cheers.
“Wow, this is the all-time classic of raunchy songs!” the crowd shouted, clearly pumped up.
Even Lanny, who’d never accepted Ivy before, stared at her in shock. She’d sung about cucumbers and dryness—stuff he’d actually experienced. As far as he knew, nobody but people in Li Manor would ever think of using cucumbers that way. Did she have x-ray vision and see him using a cucumber…?
“You’re a genius, a total genius!” Yvonne Li cried, grabbing Ivy Shen’s hand. All her previous wariness vanished as she welcomed Ivy inside, with the rest of the group following.
The townsfolk outside were stunned yet again. Two wild songs had already pushed their limits, but seeing the City Mistress break her own rule and let them stay—now that was the biggest news in Lark City!
The group followed the enthusiastic Yvonne Li into the manor, but as soon as they stepped inside and saw what was there, everyone froze.
This…
Inside…