Set Your Heart Straight and Clear Away Distractions and Worries
A Chapter for Self-Reflection: Grant Yourself an Open Heart
Life must be experienced—experienced for its true meaning. Face the world with a smile; live with a joyful heart. Circumstances arise from the mind, and circumstances shift with the mind. See more sunlight, health, joy, and warmth—not because the world has become warmer, but because your heart has. To break through the “self,” we must remove selfishness, greed, anger, arrogance, jealousy, and narrowness from within.
—Master Yancan on “Open-Hearted Self-Reflection”
The Buddhist tradition says: “Fools try to change their surroundings but cling to the mind; the wise let go of the mind and do not change their surroundings. Few realize that mind and environment are fundamentally as they are—wherever you look, whatever you encounter, there are no obstacles.”
In truth, everyone harbors their most authentic self deep within. The ever-intensifying desires and the dazzling, bewildering array of worldly phenomena repeatedly pull our hearts off course, entangling us in the past and making us fuss over the smallest details…
Therefore, we must first learn to set our hearts straight, let the spirit return to its true nature, clear away the muddy waters of right and wrong, and dispel the dark smoke of worries—only then can we find clarity and joy.
Open Your Heart—Learn Not to Fuss
Our lives inevitably encounter many difficulties, but sometimes, it is not specific events that cause our distress; rather, it is a problem with our mindset. Once our mindset changes, our emotions follow.
We fuss that others get more reward for the same effort; we fuss that people speak without considering our feelings; we fuss that others’ possessions are always better than ours; we fuss that fate always gives opportunities to others; we fuss that we give much to others but do not receive the same in return; we fuss over pennies and trivial words, over small setbacks, over how much our efforts will bring…
In this endless fussing, satisfaction grows distant, joy grows distant, and happiness grows distant.
She thought that with these things adorning her, she could regain her confidence, so she invited a few friends over for a gathering. At first, seeing her friends’ simple appearances made her feel a sense of triumph. After the meal, she made a point of paying the bill with flair, basking in the warmth of renewed friendship.
After the gathering, Du Lili returned home in high spirits. As she savored the sense of glory from the event, she suddenly realized that all her friends had driven to the gathering—only she had arrived by taxi.
This realization unsettled her once again. She thought to herself: during the Spring Festival reunion, even classmates who hadn’t attended college or only went to ordinary universities now owned cars and houses. Those girls who hadn’t excelled academically had married into wealth and prestige, while she, once so capable, now seemed to fall behind in every way.
The more she dwelled on it, the more unbalanced she felt. She began to nitpick her family, blaming this and that, resenting both fate and those around her.
Cornell University professor Robert Frank once posed a question: “Would you prefer to earn $110,000 while others earn $200,000, or earn $100,000 while others earn $85,000?” Most Americans chose the latter. In his essay, 'Spend More, Save Less: Why Living in a Wealthy Society Makes Us Feel Poorer,' Frank points out that the size of one’s house depends largely on how big the neighbors’ houses are. If your neighbors’ homes are small, you won’t feel the need for a large one yourself.
People often measure their happiness against others, longing for the lush gardens of their neighbors while overlooking the green grass under their own feet. Yet happiness is self-defined, relative, and arises when we refuse to compare. It is both universal and unique, and its uniqueness belongs to each person alone.
According to psychologists, the proportion of millionaires on the Forbes list and homeless people in the New York subway who report feeling happy is about the same. The sense of happiness among Pacific islanders is also remarkably similar to that of people in post-industrial societies. Like a blade of grass—not as tall as a tree, yet quietly resilient—happiness endures and thrives in its own way.
The city’s myriad lights and bustling noise can be intoxicating, but perhaps the feeling of “picking chrysanthemums by the eastern fence and gazing leisurely at the southern mountain” brings an even deeper joy. Happiness is like the twinkling stars in the sky—there is always one that belongs to you.
Consider this: if a person habitually looks at the height of others’ shoulders, he will inevitably feel inferior, even resentful, when his own do not measure up. But when he finally straightens his back and feels his shoulders surpass another’s, a secret delight arises in his heart.