Let’s turn our gaze back to the world of The Lord of the Rings and dive into an all-out, passionate, do-or-die training session!
Even factories organize regular skill competitions and training drills for their workers—so how could us Chosen Ones slack off? Ever since the twins staked their claim on the Sunmoon Mountains, the moment you step into Sunmoon Valley, you’re hit by this intense, fiery vibe. Seriously, whether it’s by the creek, on a boulder, or up in the treetops, you can feel the heat radiating everywhere.
What a grand, sweeping training session this is!
The atmosphere is so intense that when you step into Sunmoon Valley, it’s like you can hear the theme from 'Chinese Kung Fu' playing in your ears—wait, it’s not just 'like,' there really is music!
[Dang, dang dang dang, dang dang dang dang dang!]
Uh... is someone banging on something hard in the valley? Practicing their punches, maybe? They’re really going all out, and that offbeat rhythm actually kinda slaps.
[Dun, dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun!]
Now the sound’s changed, like they switched what they’re hitting. Just listening, you can tell something’s getting stabbed or pierced over and over. Honestly, it sounds pretty intimidating.
[Draw—your bow! Stand—like a pine! ]
[Don’t—move, don’t—shake, sit like a bell; walk—like the wind.]
Am I hallucinating? I hear this deep, heroic singing. Am I seeing things? It’s like I can see those figures, standing tall like pines, sitting still like bells, moving like the wind—appearing and disappearing in the woods, full of passion. They must be meditating or training. I bet they’re overflowing with martial spirit and fighting soul, the kind that wins your respect at first sight.
[Southern—fist, northern—kick; Shaolin’s got—skills!]
[Tai—chi, Bagua, linked palms; China’s got—divine—skills!]
Listen to that song—it doesn’t feel like it’s sung by humans, but more like it’s echoing from deep inside us as we enter Sunmoon Valley. The song’s all about striving, never giving up. Like, no matter how many setbacks, nothing can break the fighting spirit in those lyrics. Even with all the hardships and pain in life, you still rise up and fight to the end.
Never accept your fate—fight against the heavens!
That’s right, this song carries a soul that makes you want to cry.
Let’s see what’s really going on here—what kind of people have this unbreakable resilience? So, we head toward the source of the singing to get to the bottom of it.
[I’m just a trash attacker!]
Oh, looks like the intro’s over and the real song’s starting! The tempo picks up and it’s even more intense—but wait, something feels a bit off... Huh? What am I seeing?
[Died fighting like a pine!]
Uh, up ahead in the dense forest, there’s a slightly chubby guy thrusting his hips at a pine tree! He’s got his hands on his waist, and suddenly bucks against the trunk, making a loud 'dun!' like he’s keeping rhythm.
Wait, is that how they made those beats earlier? Look at that poor pine—it’s full of holes!
[Patch the holes, don’t mess around; move fast like the wind.]
Crack! The big tree can’t take it anymore and finally collapses. The wind whips up, flickering the man’s cigarette like a beating heart. He finishes his warm-up, snuffs out his smoke, and flips away.
Whoosh! Just like a gymnast, the man does a series of flips and sprints off. Like extreme skateboarders pulling tricks mid-air, every time he flips he does a move—each finger gets a turn, each trick is different, all precise and stylish. That core strength and technique? Legendary.
[Southern fist, northern kick—Shaolin Iron Groin Technique!]
Smack! The man spins three and a half times and lands in the Grand Wooden Dummy Formation. Instantly, fists and kicks rain down on him from all directions, but he keeps his cool, drops his hips, and lashes out with a short whip. Amid all the thuds, southern fist, northern kick—Iron Groin Technique every time. He’s totally unharmed.
[Tai Chi, Bagua, linked thrusts—China’s got Kidney Power!]
"Hmph!" The man scoffs, slaps his waistband like a swordmaster slapping his scabbard—defense ends, attack begins! Like a dragon bursting from its cave, like a bluebird pecking wood, in a flash of furious stabs, the wooden dummies explode and shatter in a hail of spear shadows.
"I don’t belong here anymore." The man’s face is resolute—his sights set further ahead. He flips and charges madly into the deep woods, ready to challenge his limits and face his scariest foes.
Rocky stone forest ahead! —[Sweep with the staff, roar!] Crack crack crack, shattered rocks fly everywhere, splinters snapping.
Ferocious beasts attack! —[Spear draws a line, ha!] Thud thud thud, all the beasts howl and flee, totally defeated.
Swamp and river block the way! —[Light as a swallow in the clouds~~] The man dives forward like a shuttle, and then, like skipping a stone, he slaps his belly on the water and bounces all the way across.
Only a true master of the Martial Arts Realm can cross water without sinking. But this guy’s skills are next-level—he’s a legend! The real question is, why use his belly instead of his feet?
Wait, hold up—he’s not using his belly, he’s using—
[We’re bursting with pride, soaring to the sky!]
Smack! He thrusts with his waist, blasting the water apart. Using that momentum, he leaps skyward, wild and free like a flying dragon, something below his navel glinting in the noon sun!
Whoosh, he lands on the far bank, ready for his second trial—ready to face his destiny.
There, a sunshine-loving homebody is practicing his punches. Out of energy, he looks up at the man. Their eyes meet, both deep and mournful, as if they’re about to face a tragic fate neither can escape.
[Train the stem, bones, and skin outside,]
"You’re here."
"Yeah, I’m here."
"You weren’t supposed to come."
"But I came anyway."
"You should just leave."
"Not gonna fight?"
"I don’t want to get my hands dirty."
"There’s a river right here."
"You can wash your hands, but you can’t wash a dirty heart."
"You... You know, like they said, us together is the best move. You want Dominance, you want someone who’s cool, wild, over-the-top, and a little sleazy. I’m here for men’s health—gotta train every part, front and back. So, your one-finger prostate technique is the only way."
[Train the corpus cavernosum inside.]
After that, the man goes silent. The homebody goes silent too. They stare at each other for a long time, their eyes clashing in the void, communicating soul to soul. In that gaze, they feel each other’s resolve. After a moment, the homebody is moved by the man’s iron will, sighs, and nods helplessly—like hearing a comrade shout 'Fire at me!' over the radio. The shell doesn’t want to launch, but it can’t be stopped.
Just like the man said, 'That guy' really did offer the best solution. So, the homebody—had no choice.
And so, the decision is made.
Boom! The homebody stomps the ground, eyes brimming with tears, charging to his doom.
"Here I come!!"
Whoosh—the man turns away, gazing into the distance, deep and desolate.
"Come at me!!"
Pfft—[The anus gets entered, but never bows its head...]
"Dominance!"
[The world lives in our hearts!]
"Awesome!"
[Dang dang dang dang dang dang dang ×4] The Sunny Homebody transforms, the art style shifts dramatically. Now that they’ve come this far, what’s left to lose? Both men roar, fighting and training each other.
Train the body to be an unyielding spear,
Train the heart to pierce the clouds,
Train the will to never fear blindness,
Train the soul to never care about dignity.
Side by side, they fight and walk, the song [I’m Just a Trash Attacker] plays again, but this time it’s especially bold and tragic. As they spar and shout 'Roar!' 'Ha!' their moves become fierce and wild, totally epic.
Having passed the Sunny Homebody’s trial, the man charges through forests and rivers, cheered on by the homebody. Just as he enters a dense grove, a massive chainsaw on an iron chain comes flying out, roaring toward him.
In the nick of time, the man spins three and a half times mid-air and dodges, landing solidly. He looks up to see a woman step out of the woods—his mortal enemy.
[Azureblade in hand,]
The woman yanks the chain, and the chainsaw flies back to her hand. The engine roars, sparks flying from the spinning chain, intimidating as hell.
[Twin blades on display.]
She flips her other hand and, with a flash, reveals another chainsaw. Dual chainsaws in hand, she aims menacingly at three inches below the man’s navel, sneering, "Three-Second Man, you dare challenge me? Today I’ll cut off that thing that’s lowering the world’s standards—doing everyone a favor! Hah!"
[A true master’s skills show with just one move!]
Facing his nemesis, the man summons his fighting spirit.
All that training, all that toughness, was for this moment!
With a shout, he charges in, weapon at the ready.
Whoosh whoosh whoosh! The woman’s chainsaws whirl like a bouquet of flowers, striking short and long, fierce and fast. Sparks fly as the chainsaws clash, but the Sleazy Guy dodges and weaves, his short whip dancing dazzling patterns. Even more amazing, his meat-whip keeps clashing with the chainsaws—clang clang!—sparks flying everywhere, but the meat-whip is totally unharmed!
[Being a receiver is like two doors,]