Unable to Adapt to Local Conditions
Princess Mingyu was crying, when suddenly there was a loud "pfft" sound—a foul-smelling fart slipped out from under her skirt. Lulo, feeling nauseous, quickly covered her mouth to avoid vomiting. This action, however, wounded Princess Mingyu's pride. She snapped to her feet and slapped Lulo, scolding, "You vile servant, even you dare to humiliate me, a princess!"
"I dare not, I really didn't mean it!" Lulo's face turned ashen as she hurriedly knelt down.
Princess Mingyu gritted her teeth and slapped Lulo twice more. Meanwhile, her uncontrollable farting continued. Because of this, she couldn’t even think about casually running into Xiao Zetian; she couldn’t even leave the room without passing gas every few steps.
"Ah, what am I going to do, what am I going to do..." Princess Mingyu leaned despairingly against the bed.
Lulo’s cheeks were swollen and red as she bit her lip, thinking to herself that the princess’s discomfort from the local conditions was no good. If this kept up, she’d be dragged down with the trouble. It would be better to coax Princess Mingyu into leaving, sparing them both from suffering. So Lulo knelt and said, "Princess, I think it’s best if you temporarily avoid this place for a while... If you stay here under General Xiao’s watch, he might be reminded of that incident... So I think it’s better if you return to the capital first, and when General Xiao gradually forgets about it, you can meet again. Besides, General Xiao’s marriage is decided by the Jin Emperor. It’d be better for you to start with the Jin Emperor and have your father pressure him to expedite the marriage. Once the imperial decree is issued, the matter will be settled. General Xiao surely won’t defy the order for a village girl who can’t even show her face properly."
Lulo spoke cautiously, then looked up to gauge Princess Mingyu’s expression.
Princess Mingyu fell into deep thought, realizing Lulo’s words made sense. The imperial marriage decree was the top priority—how had she been so foolish to lose sight of that? Besides, her presence only reminded Xiao Zetian of her farting incident, an embarrassing memory that left no room for romantic feelings. It was better to retreat for now and meet again once the matter had cooled down, hoping General Xiao would forget that mortifying episode.
However, Princess Mingyu’s calculations were perfect, but she didn’t realize that her foul fart had become one of Xiao Zetian’s unforgettable memories. Even if he later forgot her face, he could never forget the thunderous fart that rivaled a firecracker.
Having made up her mind, Princess Mingyu, though unwilling to leave so abruptly, had no choice but to comply. She instructed Lulo to prepare, and they would depart for the capital after lunch.
Because Princess Mingyu had many gifts and belongings, packing was a big operation, and everyone in Su Li’s household knew she was leaving.
Wang Shi was very surprised and asked Su Li, "A Li, didn’t Princess Mingyu insist on clinging to our family’s Yuanbao? How could she be willing to leave so easily?"
Su Li chuckled and said, "People are shaped by their environment. She's just not suited to the conditions here; she can’t stay long."
Wang Shi responded with an "Oh," somewhat understanding but not fully grasping the situation.
When Lulo returned to the room after packing the five carts of gifts, she found Princess Mingyu sitting at the dressing table, one hand covering her buttocks and the other covering her mouth.
"Princess, all the gifts have been packed. We can leave now," Lulo said.
"Mm, this princess... pfft—understands, let's... hic—depart." Princess Mingyu’s face flushed red as she struggled to finish her sentence, interspersed with farting and hiccuping sounds, leaving Lulo stunned.
Soon, Lulo noticed that besides farting, the princess had also started hiccuping!
Princess Mingyu’s hiccups were loud and forceful, like the pounding of a Hebei bangzi drum, continuous and powerful.
Unable to speak a full sentence, Princess Mingyu blushed and gestured for Lulo to help her walk. But just as they stepped out the door, they saw Xiao Zetian standing not far away, seemingly waiting for her.