Do Not Be Too Serious With Others or Yourself, Be Broad-Minded When It Is Time (2)

Cao Cao led his troops to attack Liu Bei in Hanzhong, but was unexpectedly blocked by Ma Chao at the mouth of a gorge and could neither advance nor retreat. He wanted to withdraw his army and return to the capital, but worried that the Shu forces would mock him and his own soldiers would gossip. At a loss, he returned to camp and exclaimed, "Chicken rib." That night, when a general came to ask for the password, Cao Cao replied again, "Chicken rib." Upon hearing this, the registrar Yang Xiu immediately began packing his belongings in his tent. The general was surprised and asked Yang Xiu why. Yang Xiu said, "Chicken rib—there’s no meat on it, but it’s a pity to throw away. Now, there’s little chance of victory if we advance, but if we retreat, we’ll be ridiculed. Staying here brings no benefit at all. It’s better to pack up now and wait. When the King of Wei gives the order to return tomorrow, we can leave calmly instead of in a panic."

The general sighed at Yang Xiu’s insight into Cao Cao’s mind and went back to pack as well. Thus, all the soldiers who heard the news began to tidy their luggage and prepare to return home. Cao Cao soon learned of this and summoned Yang Xiu for questioning. Yang Xiu repeated what he had told the general. Seeing that Yang Xiu had read his intentions so clearly, Cao Cao grew suspicious and, on the charge of spreading rumors and disturbing the army’s morale, had him executed.

Heaven has bestowed us with wisdom, but wisdom is not for showing off or elevating oneself. If your cleverness only brings others’ jealousy, dislike, or even hostility, then it is not true intelligence—it is foolishness.

There is a famous saying: "Take the shape of a coin—round outside, square inside." In other words, in dealing with people and affairs, one should be like a coin: the edges are round, able to adapt to circumstances, but the heart remains firm, holding one’s own purpose and principles.

For example, even if you find the surrounding environment or people disagreeable, there’s no need to let your sharp edges show too much or overly emphasize your uniqueness. "In dealing with the world, one need not conform to the common, but neither should one oppose it; in doing things, one need not please people, but neither should one provoke their dislike." In this way, you can preserve your integrity while also protecting yourself.

In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, there is the famous story of the Wine-Boiling Heroes Banquet. At that time, Liu Bei, having fallen on hard times, sought refuge with Cao Cao, who received him graciously. While living in Xu, after signing the Imperial Edict sewn into his sash, Liu Bei, fearing Cao Cao might harm him, started gardening and personally watered the vegetables, using this to mislead Cao Cao and lessen his suspicion.

One day, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink and discussed who were the true heroes of the age. Liu Bei named Yuan Shu, Yuan Shao, Liu Biao, Sun Ce, Liu Zhang, Zhang Xiu, Zhang Lu, Han Sui, and others, but Cao Cao dismissed them all. Cao Cao defined the standards for a hero: "Harboring great ambition, possessing wise strategies, holding the secrets of the universe, and the will to swallow the world." Liu Bei asked, "Who fits this description?" Cao Cao replied that only he and Liu Bei did. Liu Bei, who had intended to keep a low profile in Xu, was so startled by Cao Cao’s words that he dropped his spoon and chopsticks. Just then, a storm approached and thunder rumbled. Liu Bei calmly picked up his utensils and said, "Such is the power of thunder," cleverly disguising his panic and thus avoiding disaster.

Liu Bei’s response at the Wine-Boiling Heroes Banquet was undoubtedly very wise. He concealed his true self, avoided exaggeration or showing off, and did not place himself among the "heroes"—at least, on the surface, he restrained his actions.

Thomas Jefferson was the third President of the United States. In 1785, he served as the U.S. Ambassador to France. One day, he visited the French Foreign Minister’s residence. “You replaced Mr. Franklin?” the minister asked.

“Succeeded him, yes—but no one could ever truly replace Mr. Franklin.” Jefferson replied humbly. His modesty left a deep impression on the French Foreign Minister.