"Dad, you're finally back!"
I quietly gazed at the room before me—this was me in my youth. Everything around me was a little blurry. I must be dreaming. My father, Martin Lane, was pressing his forehead with a troubled look. Judging by my appearance, I was just starting middle school, my smile still carrying a hint of innocence.
Everything around me was deeply nostalgic, yet I had no idea why I was having such a dream. I quietly watched it all, my head growing a little heavy.
Then the scene shifted—a stormy, gloomy day. That was the day my father left home. I watched myself crying, while my father kept urging me to be strong.
All these childhood memories were lonely and painful. I still remember back in my school days, whenever parents were needed at school, I could only ask Wu Zuo to stand in for my parents. It was a deeply uncomfortable feeling.
Gradually, over time, I got used to living alone. While I could endure long periods of loneliness, I couldn't stand a lifetime of solitude. From childhood to adulthood, I had no one to confide in—whether I was sad or happy, it was always just me.
The scene vanished again, and shifted—I saw myself shopping and laughing with Vivian Ouyang. My heart leapt; perhaps this was my happiest time. I had friends, I was no longer alone, and I’d met many people from the Ghost Burial Squad.
For someone who’d spent over twenty years alone, this was pure joy. The scenes kept flowing, and I watched my past self grow up bit by bit. It was as if I was beginning to realize something.
Ethan...
I murmured, and sure enough, the scene shifted to when I first met Ethan Zhang. I was thrilled to see him—after so long, even just glimpsing Ethan in my memory made me happy.
As the scene continued to shift, I remembered noticing the movements of the Soul Hunter from Guizuka, so I went to that chicken farm. When I arrived, I saw Zhang Qingyuan, whose Earth Soul had already been extracted. But just then, I was startled—the me in the scene had already reached the farm and, just as in my memory, stopped Chen Jun. Yet Zhang Qingyuan was nowhere to be found. In the scene, both Chen Jun and I were talking to ourselves, and the Zhang Qingyuan who should have been in my memory had vanished.
The scene shifted again. The second time I saw Zhang Qingyuan was at the site of that bus accident. But just like before, I couldn't see Zhang Qingyuan—myself in the scene was talking to myself.
"What on earth is going on?"
In every scene after that, wherever I had interacted with Zhang Qingyuan, he was nowhere to be found. He seemed to have turned into thin air. My heart ached, and gradually I felt a chill on my cheek. Suddenly, I saw a shadow and snapped awake—a half-white, half-black humanoid figure with golden-red eyes stared at me, one hand pressed against my forehead. My body was already extremely weak; I couldn't even feel pain anymore.
The figure before me was Jiuchen, the instinct of Yunmei. I had no idea what he intended for me, but I could feel him probing my memories.
"What are you going to do?"
I muttered, looking feebly at Jiuchen. He bared his teeth, as if smiling.
"To save you. If Rachel wants to survive, you must return to the world of the past, figure everything out, and reclaim what belongs to you. Otherwise, you will disappear forever."
I nodded slightly, while Jiuchen still pressed his hand to my forehead.
"I'm sealing away your memories to prevent any accidents. Remember, when you return to the past, you can't change anything, especially regarding Ethan Zhang. Don't touch it again, or the Eye of Time will erase you completely. The reason for these strange phenomena is because you possess an instinct that should have vanished long ago. This instinct was supposed to die with Ethan, but it remains within you. This place is a Singularity, so you must go back and eliminate it."
My eyes widened. From what Jiuchen was saying, I had to destroy coexistence—but that was something I could never do.
"This is for the sake of the world, Rachel. If the Coexistence Instinct continues to exist in this world, one day the Wraithlord will be resurrected. When that happens, no one will be able to save the situation. I assigned tasks to the gods long ago, and now is the time to carry out what they feared most—to eliminate every threat."
My head was spinning. I couldn't understand what Jiuchen was saying, but eliminating coexistence was something I absolutely couldn't do.
"Once I've sealed your memories, I'll open the Gate of Time. Then you can return to the past and fix everything related to Zhang Qingyuan. It's simple—just stop your past self from meeting Zhang Qingyuan. Don't interact with him at all from the beginning, and the Eye of Time won't target you. When you come back, you'll be able to survive, because without Zhang Qingyuan, you won't die."
My eyes widened as I fully understood what Jiuchen was saying, but inside I was filled with rejection and sadness.
"If I do this, I'll forget Qingyuan, won't I?"
I forced a smile. Jiuchen nodded, and I immediately shook my head.
"If you don't do this, there's only one path—death. Your instinct is crucial for the future. Don't you want to think about your family and friends?"
My eyes widened, not knowing what to do. Waves of sorrow surged through me. If I really did this, I would truly forget Qingyuan. I didn't want to forget Qingyuan.
A burst of black and white light shone, and my body slowly began to float.
"Now I need to swap your consciousness with the consciousness you had on the day you received news of Ethan's death. After all, it's impossible for this body of yours to go back. Listen carefully, Rachel—this is your last chance. You have to sever all ties with Ethan Zhang. If you do, time will correct all the mistakes, and that person who was never meant to exist will disappear completely."
My eyes suddenly grew wet. I pressed my lips together, not knowing what to do. Just then, I noticed a stream of black energy flowing in—it looked exactly like Ethan Zhang. It was a Thought Ghost.
"It's about to begin. Once the replacement is complete, I'll send you back to the day you met Zhang Qingyuan. You must do everything you can to stop your past self from meeting him."
I shook my head slightly, but my consciousness was already growing fuzzy. Suddenly, I snapped awake, tear stains still on my cheeks. I was back in my room, my body feeling unusually light, but my chest ached with sorrow. I touched the tears on my face—I had cried my heart out that day.
"Are you ready, Lan Ruoxi? I'm sending you back—the gate is open."
Jiuchen's voice came from behind me. I turned my head and shook it immediately.
"Isn't there any other way? I can't do it."
This was the truest thought in my heart. If I really had to do this, I'd rather choose death.
"There's no time. Don't you understand, Lan Ruoxi?"
Jiuchen shouted at me angrily. Behind him, a space of swirling black and white appeared. He came over and grabbed my hand, dragging me out of the vortex with all his strength. I tried to awaken my instinct to resist, but to my shock, there was no response from the new life.
"You should listen to Jules, Rachel. I warned you a long time ago—stay away from Ethan Zhang."
The cold, emotionless voice of Rachel's Shade echoed in my mind as I was dragged away, my body radiating a faint white glow.
"All of this is for the world."
"No."
I said firmly and without hesitation.
Can't you see? What kind of person is Qingyuan, really? Just because he possesses the instinct of coexistence, he has to disappear? I absolutely refuse to accept this. Even if I die, I won't change anything. That's how I've always felt, and no matter how many years pass, I never will.
Suddenly, I felt my body being controlled—it was Rachel's Shade. At the same time, a force surged within me: the power of Coexistence Instinct. It seemed to sense danger, but Jules and Rachel's Shade were suppressing the instinct and controlling my body.
"Forgive me, Rachel. Since you won't do it, I'll have to do it for you. Once it's done, you won't have any memory of Ethan Zhang, nor any connection to him."
Gradually, I felt my body dissolve into particles of light and shadow, instantly swept into the swirling black and white vortex. Colors flashed all around me, but I felt nothing. The moment I opened my eyes, I was standing beneath an apartment building—my home. My body started moving on its own, quickly hiding in the park behind the building. I watched as my home's door opened. It was me from five years ago, coming downstairs with a backpack.
I felt a deep sense of foreboding. New Life was controlling my body, forcing me to release some power. I kept resisting, but my body still moved on its own, heading across the street. Just then, I stopped.
"Please, New Life, don't do this."
Suddenly, my consciousness took over again. I knew exactly what Rachel's Shade intended—the simplest way was to knock out my five-years-ago self and keep me confined at home. That way, I wouldn't go to the chicken farm that night, and I wouldn't meet Ethan Zhang.