"Ethan Zhang, has your instinct ever manifested physically?"
The Engineer asked, and I hesitated for a moment, looking at him. Manifestation—I'd heard that word many times. The manifestation of a Ghost Soul—I’d seen it before. The first time was in that apartment building, when I saw Old Wei’s Ghost Soul, a strong, green humanoid figure behind him.
"I don’t think so."
I muttered, then asked in return.
"Why do you ask, The Engineer?"
"GhostSync, while collecting data in the Forest of Desire, once found a blank spot—a whole month missing. When you reappeared, GhostSync sensed something unusual. I think, Ethan Zhang, your instinct has already manifested."
I remembered—by the Lake of Desire, I was nearly crushed by an overwhelming force, a desire thousands of times stronger than anything in the Forest of Desire. Behind me, a black, muscular humanoid demon appeared.
I told The Engineer about these things, and he nodded.
"Ethan Zhang, that’s the manifestation of a Ghost Soul. In that instant, you broke free from desire. Your instinct has awakened, but you still can’t control it, can you?"
As he spoke, The Engineer took out a sheet of paper and a pen, and began to take notes, asking further questions.
"Instinct is one of my research subjects as well. Ethan Zhang, I hope you can help me. Tell me, what did you feel inside at that moment?"
I glanced at my neck—empty now. That purple pendant, I’d given it to Vivian Ouyang. Then I began to speak, trying to describe everything: my state of mind, what I truly felt back then.
Whenever I mention Rachel Lan, grief overwhelms me—a pain like knives in my heart. The Engineer seemed to notice, sighing repeatedly.
"That’s enough, Ethan Zhang. Thank you for sharing. I know it’s hard for you."
I shook my head and smiled. Someday, I’ll have to face all of this. Inside, it’s nothing but rain—no sunlight, just darkness and cold.
"Alright, Ethan Zhang. Now let me explain why your instinct appeared. It’s not just about the coexistence of humans and ghosts."
I nodded, listening intently, watching The Engineer.
"I’ve said before—you’re a bundle of contradictions. When a person is self-contradictory, one side is the spear, the other is the shield. I may need to reference your past, so I hope you’ll bear with me."
"Go ahead, The Engineer. No matter how painful the past, no matter if this wound never heals, I still have to move forward."
The Engineer began to speak, giving a simple example: for a person to walk normally, it’s left foot then right, or right then left. But if both feet had their own consciousness—one wanting to walk, the other refusing...
"What do you think would happen, Ethan Zhang?"
"You wouldn’t be able to walk, might even fall over."
"Exactly. That’s contradiction. Now, I need to ask some personal questions—they may be a bit intrusive, but I hope you’ll answer. No matter how much I deduce, I need facts to support it. Science requires evidence."
I made a sound of acknowledgment, and The Engineer began his questioning.
"When you were dating your girlfriend, Lily Wu, the first night—you slept together, didn’t you?"
I made an awkward sound, then nodded, embarrassed. The Engineer smiled.
I suppose you thought you’d wait until marriage, but that night, you went against your own will. You’re usually very self-disciplined, yet you did something contrary to your nature—that’s contradiction."
I gave an awkward smile, thinking back to that night—it really was embarrassing. I took Lily Wu home, no one else was there, so I stayed for a while. When I was about to leave, she went to shower. I was just about to go, but ended up staying.
"Alright. Later, you could have accepted help from your cousin Howard Zhang, but you refused—leading to your breakup with Lily Wu. Did you truly want to refuse, deep down?"
I shook my head.
"No, The Engineer. Deep down, I desperately wanted money. My cousin Howard Zhang and I had already discussed it—he’d put up the cash, we’d go into business together. He even found me a prime location to manage. But when the day came, I turned him down without hesitation."
"That’s another contradiction—the second point of the paradox I mentioned. Thank you, Ethan Zhang, for answering so honestly."
The Engineer kept writing for a while, making notes. I realized what he wrote looked more like drawings—simple lines I couldn’t understand at all.
"Oh, this is a special script I invented. Only I know its meaning. If my work fell into the wrong hands, it wouldn’t be good, so while I was alive, I recorded everything this way. Only a disciple of true character would learn its meaning. The 'Wood Sutra' compiled later was written by my disciple, but only he could read it."
I made a sound of acknowledgment, and The Engineer continued. He’d once seen the soul of his disciple, but never found a worthy successor. In those chaotic times, others even forced him to reveal his secrets, so he killed himself rather than let his work fall into the wrong hands.
I think I understand now—The Engineer was a good man.
In later generations, only a tiny fraction of The Engineer’s creations survived. Most of what he designed was for war, while his agricultural and architectural inventions were widely published.
"Last question. You noticed early on, didn’t you, the unusual relationship between Lily Wu and Nathan Li?"
I was silent for a while, then nodded.
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"You figured it out before you even saw the evidence—that they were involved. And then you found proof."
I nodded again.
"But what you deduced was all based on your own feelings, wasn’t it? No logic at all—just a sixth sense, right?"
I sighed and nodded again. Before, I’d vaguely felt Lily Wu and Nathan Li might be doing something behind my back, but I pretended nothing was happening. Even the evidence I found had no logic—just a feeling.
"That’s your paradox—you’re a bundle of contradictions."
The Engineer smiled, then continued.
"Heaven is fair to everyone, Ethan Zhang. A mute can’t speak, but his eyes are sharper than most. A blind person can’t see, but his ears are more sensitive. That’s why words like 'blind spirit' and 'mute poison' exist."
I made a sound of acknowledgment.
"The Engineer, what does this have to do with my instinct?"
"It’s because you yourself are a mass of contradictions. You’re human, yet possess ghostly power. And I suspect, in the past, the human and ghost parts of you didn’t get along very well. So your instinct developed to compensate for your own flaws—to keep your body and mind from collapsing. It’s like the nerves connecting your hands and feet: without nerves, you’d be paralyzed, unable to use your limbs even if you had them. It’s the same principle!"
My eyes widened as I looked at The Engineer. Every word he spoke was like a precious gem, unraveling all my confusion.
Then The Engineer pointed to my corpse and spoke.
"Ethan Zhang, that’s why—even after you died, your corpse still retained your will. It’s probably because of your instinct, which allowed your body to bear the weapons I installed. Lance Quinn was my test subject before, so the results are comparable. He’s a high-level zombie, much stronger than your corpse."
The Engineer explained: before outfitting my corpse with weapons, Lance Quinn was the first test subject. Luban equipped his body with weapons and other devices.
But a rejection occurred—like the poles of a magnet repelling each other. Lance Quinn’s body suffered severe damage.
I swallowed and looked at The Engineer.
After Lance Quinn was fitted with weapons, his body began to malfunction. The corpse jade inside him started leaking zombie power, draining away, and his body began to swell and even explode. But he insisted on continuing the experiments, wanting to pinpoint the areas of rejection. He repeated the process until his corpse jade began to crack, and Yuna Ji finally stopped him.
In that moment, all my resentment toward Lance Quinn vanished with a smile. I realized he did these experiments to help my corpse better accept The Engineer’s weapons, and I was genuinely grateful to him.
Then they tried to fit weapons to my body. Huge problems arose immediately—when my right hand was fitted with a gauntlet, it was nearly destroyed by the invasion of Yin energy.
The experiment was halted at once. The Engineer and the others were in despair. I was already dead, my soul separated from my body, turned into a vengeful ghost. Just when everyone thought it was hopeless, Dr. Hawthorne proposed a solution: my body was too fragile to bear the Yin steel forged from Yin iron.
So Dr. Hawthorne began modifying my body—a process that lasted several months, aiming to strengthen me enough to bear the weapons’ power. In the end, there was a breakthrough.