Four Pillars of Destiny, Compatibility Testing for Sham Marriages, Satisfaction Guaranteed or Your Money Back

Come to think of it, Jack Young sure has a lot of weirdos hanging around him. Ever since he survived Steelbull City—especially after meeting Cake Dog and Dog Egg—he figured nobody could possibly set a new low for human decency.

Actually, Sophie Chow once took The Queen to check out the Rainbow Lounge. And honestly, who are we to judge anyone’s sexual orientation? Just look at that group of yuri girls over there, then think about our own Queen, and you realize you’ve got zero motivation to lecture anyone about 'getting back on the straight and narrow.'

Speaking of experience, Jack Young once spent a whole week living at a brothel, so you’d think he’d be jaded enough to handle anything—seen it all, done it all, nothing fazes him anymore.

But!

Hong Kong’s Rainbow Lounge and this place? Totally different ballgames, damn it! —Well, okay, maybe if you really think about it, they’re not that different after all—except the way you feel is miles apart, damn it! Back then, Glasses Girl dragged The Queen along, but The Queen went in with an attitude like, 'Let’s just open up the map, I’m invisible anyway.' No matter how wild the crowd, even if they’re as fierce as an aircraft carrier, The Queen was always deep behind enemy lines. It’s like surfing while tied to a battleship: no matter how powerful the ship up front is, what’s it got to do with me?

But now Jack Young finally realizes—switching genders and coming here, it’s a whole different vibe!

Everyone’s gotten used to joking about 'bromance' all the time, like it’s no big deal. But Jack Young’s idea of a bromance is just buddies slinging arms and heading to the internet café to play DOTA—not stripping down and twerking on a pole!

Whew, alright, calm down, find a spot and take it easy. You’re already inside, so stop being dramatic—just stick it out until that fortune-telling master shows up.

The bar’s got decent decor and it’s packed; everyone’s hyped up. If you look closely, there are basically three types of people here. First up: the Rainbow Lounge regulars. You know how people say the gay scene helps take some pressure off the straight crowd? That’s legit. Even from a straight guy’s perspective, Jack Young has to admit—these folks are seriously good-looking, way above average.

Being gay is actually pretty trendy, especially in China where looks are everything. The reason fujoshi think gay couples are cute and stylish? It’s all about the looks. Honestly, if you’re good-looking, anything you do is adorable—even scratching your feet or buying groceries at the market can look international. So if you’re not at least twenty-five percent above average in the looks department, you really don’t dare mix it up in the gay scene. Like that uncle we ran into earlier—if the fujoshi ever saw him, they’d definitely tell him, 'Sir, maybe you should just sit this one out.'

Second group: the lesbians here just to hang out. Switch the gender roles around and suddenly things feel way more comfortable. Like I always say—cute is justice, and a pretty face rules all. Used to be, seeing so many gorgeous girls turn into TPHs (tomboys, femmes, and neutrals) was a heartbreak for us nerdy guys! But now… Jack Young figures if The Queen showed up, she’d instantly blend in and probably end up ruling the whole scene, taking the throne as the ultimate top.

Third group: clueless tourists, mostly girls—probably students. They come here for all sorts of reasons. Maybe they just want to have fun and check out some handsome guys, but don’t want to get hit on, so they picked this spot. But please, stop staring at me with those sparkling eyes! Here’s a lollipop, kid—go find another uncle to play with!

All in all, after scoping the place out, Jack Young finally feels chill again. He figures, as long as nobody messes with him, he can accept the world as it is. Anyone just here to chase trends, rack up style points, or get a thrill—go play somewhere else! And those who hate the opposite sex so much they want to burn all the straight folks—should be dragged home and spanked! But if it’s in your genes, if you’re born this way, Jack Young has no beef. He’s not that narrow-minded—he can handle a little difference.

As long as nobody messes with him...

But unfortunately—hey, flirty guy on the left, get your wandering hands off me! Fujoshi on the right, stop drooling, it’s not what you think! And that uncle over there—what’s with the sparkly eyes, the creepy grin, and those obscene hand gestures? You looking for trouble, huh?!

Jack Young’s rage meter is filling up fast, about to hit max for a super move. When he was The Queen, he never really experienced the classic 'getting harassed after a gender swap' trope, but as a straight guy in this world, he’s running into this nonsense! Everyone around here is sending out 'come flirt with me! come hook up!' signals. Finally, he gets what it’s like for girls surrounded by creeps.

Annoyed but can’t really get mad, since nobody’s actually done anything wrong. This constant irritation keeps simmering, and Teacher Yang’s brain starts drifting toward The Queen’s way of thinking. In his head, a chibi devil keeps whispering, 'Just beat up everyone you don’t like!' And honestly, Jack Young’s starting to think that’s not such a bad idea. If this annoyance crosses a certain line, things could get wild.

What? Hide outside? You think it’s a safe zone out there? I’m not even gonna bother explaining—anyone who thinks hiding outside means peace of mind is way too young and naive. Places like this usually offer free lube… Okay, let’s not go there.

Anyway, Jack Young musters his last bit of patience and turns to the bartender. The bartender’s pretty good-looking, but he’s just working here—probably straight. Plus, his look at Jack Young isn’t all heated, so Jack feels brave enough to ask: 'Hey, what does "cousins" mean around here?'

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No sooner did he ask than everyone—guys and girls alike—turned to stare at him. The place was noisy with music and chatter, and Jack Young hadn’t even raised his voice, but suddenly he had a whole crowd’s attention—so you all really were keeping an eye on me, huh?! Should I buy everyone a round for being such devoted fans, damn it!

The bartender stayed cool, still shaking his cocktail shaker, and gave Jack Young a quick once-over. 'You’re straight, aren’t you?'

'Yep.' Finally, someone saw through me—nice work, brother, you’ve got X-ray vision!

'No wonder.' The bartender patiently explained, 'The term "cousins" is really just code. Think about it: in the old days, if a young guy was out walking with a girl and someone asked, he liked her but wasn’t ready to make it official yet, he’d be all shy and say something vague. What would he call her?'

'Most would say "she’s my junior apprentice" or "she’s my little sister" or something like that.' Having just come back from the martial arts world, Jack Young got it right away: 'So calling someone cousin is just…'

'Exactly. If Jia Baoyu was into guys, Dream of the Red Chamber wouldn’t be about his cousin sister—it’d be about his cousin brother.'

Brilliant! Instant thumbs up for that explanation! —And now, if I ever hear a guy call someone 'cousin,' I’ll have a complex. Bartender bro, that’s another word ruined, right after 'Miss.'

'Buddy, you don’t seem like you’re here out of curiosity or just looking for a thrill. You really don’t look like that kind of guy. So what’s a straight dude like you doing here?' The bartender slid a cocktail over. 'Here, have a drink—there’s some ice in it, cool off a bit.'

'Thanks.' See, talking to regular guys really is more relaxing. Jack Young took a sip—hey, not bad, and his irritation started to fade a little. 'I’m just here waiting for someone. No clue when they’ll show up, so I’ve gotta stick around.'

'Oh, I get it. Well, here’s a tip.' The bartender pointed. 'See those girls over there? They’re regulars—part of the lesbian crowd, all pretty chill. You can go chat with them to pass the time. As long as you’re not trying to hook up, they won’t mind, and you won’t get hit on by other guys either. Just do what that handsome dude over there is doing.'

'Good idea.' Jack Young followed the bartender’s gesture and saw two tall beauties chatting happily with a refined, handsome guy. Wait a sec—that’s Senior Brother! Nice move, Senior Brother, ditching me and going off on your own when I wasn’t looking!

The bartender, ever helpful, asked, 'So who are you waiting for? I know all the regulars here—maybe I can help.'

'Don’t know, never met them.' Jack Young shook his head. 'Supposedly, it’s a fortune teller.'

'A fortune teller?!' The bartender’s reaction was huge—he practically shouted, 'You’re here for the Spiritual Master?'

'Spiritual Master? Is this guy famous around here?'

'Of course! Lately, our regulars can’t get enough of him—there’s always a line to see him! Looks like it’s about time for him to show up… Oh! Speak of the devil!' As the bartender spoke, someone entered the bar. Jack Young had always imagined a fortune teller would be this scruffy guy in Taoist robes, waving a banner that said 'Immortal’s Guidance.' But seeing this fortune teller totally shattered that image.

'The Spiritual Master’s here!' someone shouted, and a huge crowd surged toward the door, cheering like they were welcoming a superstar. The man soaking up all that applause was about 1.65 meters tall, dressed in loose black-and-white clothes with his collarbones on display. He had a permed, textured hairstyle, an oval face, a sharp nose, elegant eyebrows, thin lips, and huge, bright eyes—almost like he was wearing colored contacts, but Jack Young was sure those were the real deal.

Most unique of all, he wore a pair of Taiji yin-yang fish earrings, which looked pretty striking against his fair skin.

But here’s the kicker: he was just a twenty-something guy…

The young man waved, flashing a healing smile at everyone, then launched into his pitch: 'Four Pillars of Destiny! Arranged marriages! If I’m wrong, you don’t pay!'

'He really is… in the right place!'