Looking at the lush, green fields all around, Howard Zhang was dressed coolly, wearing a small straw hat, a pair of sandals, and gray shorts, walking along the edge of the irrigation ditch.
"Why didn't you save your cousin, Ethan Zhang?" my father asked again, his voice deep and somber.
"Howard Zhang, where are you going?"
I couldn't help but ask. Howard turned his head, laughed heartily, and said:
"Let me tell you, the person guarding the fields up ahead is one of my classmates—a pretty girl named May Shaw. I'm going to see her, and I thought I'd bring you along."
I sighed helplessly. Sure enough, even in my dreams, Howard Zhang was still Howard Zhang. I followed him with small steps.
On one side of the irrigation ditch, there was a small shed. We were getting closer and closer. From time to time, I glanced back—the little window connecting to the room was still open.
I gradually caught up with Howard, drawing nearer to the little shed. A pair of moving feet came into view—fair and smooth.
"Howard Zhang, what are you doing here?" a girl's voice called out. I walked over and saw a young girl lying on a wooden bed, holding a Chinese Language Textbook, pouting, with a ballpoint pen tucked under her upper lip.
"Aren't I here to apologize to you, May Shaw?"
"No need, Howard Zhang. Get lost. I don't need your apology."
I've never seen Howard Zhang so weak and so cruel. So, even though this person had Howard Zhang's face and spoke like him, he wasn't really my cousin.
I pondered what this dream was all about, but the thought of the evil spirit drifting past my window sent chills down my spine. I couldn't help but worry about my parents, even though it was just a dream.
"Ethan Zhang, once I've devoured your consciousness, I'll lock you away for a while so you can't awaken your instincts. Then I'll torment you as much as I want."
I grew anxious and wanted to hurry back. Just then, a scream rang out. I rushed over and saw Howard pinning May Shaw down, his hands moving incessantly.
"Howard, you..." I started to intervene, but Howard just looked at me with a lecherous grin.
"Come on, little cousin, no one's around. If you've never touched a girl before, why not try it now?" Howard said, reaching into May's clothes. Instantly, May began to cry and struggle.
"Damn it, Howard, you bastard..."
The person in front of me wasn't Howard, even though he looked exactly like him and it was a dream. Most importantly, Howard would never behave this way toward a girl. No matter how flirtatious he was, he was always gentle with girls—he'd never cursed or laid a hand on any of them.
"Why didn't you save your cousin, Ethan Zhang?"
"Oh, by the way, little cousin, May Shaw and I broke up. Sigh, my heart is wounded. Sigh, you don't even comfort me."
"Iron doors, iron windows, iron chains, hands on the bars looking outside. Life out there is so beautiful—when will I return home..."
"Wounded, my ass, Howard. Clearly May Shaw's the one who's heartbroken." Seeing Howard's conflicted look, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Why didn't you stop me, little cousin?" Howard seemed to forget the rest of the lyrics, his eyes dull as he looked at me through the small window. I shook my head and stood up.
Suddenly, I was in a prison cell. Howard was being pinned to the ground by a burly man, who swung his fists down hard. I tried to rush over and help, but realized I was shackled hand and foot, unable to move.
I watched as the big man beat Howard again and again. Anger welled up inside me, but it didn't stop there—the man stripped Howard's clothes, twisted his body, and grinned wickedly. I stared in shock as Howard quietly looked back at me.
"Little cousin, help me... help..." Howard's weak voice came through.
"Fuck you!" I couldn't help but shout. This bizarre nightmare made no sense, yet it filled me with rage. I struggled a few times, watching helplessly as Howard was pinned and tormented.
I sighed.
"This definitely isn't my dream."
I've never seen Howard so weak and so cruel. So, even though this person had Howard Zhang's face and spoke like him, he wasn't really my cousin.
The scene shifted again. This time, Howard was tying a rope to the drainpipe on the ceiling, preparing to hang himself. After making a knot, he placed the rope around his neck, glaring at me with resentment.
"Why didn't you stop me, little cousin? Why won't you help me? Why?" Howard's eyes brimmed with tears, his voice choked.
I simply watched, doing nothing, but sorrow welled up inside me.
"It's all an illusion. Don't be fooled."
A cold voice echoed in my mind—my instincts. I kept watching as Howard's feet slipped off the sink, his hands let go, and he hung there, struggling in pain.
My mind grew more and more chaotic. Finally, I couldn't help but stand up. Howard's struggles grew weaker, his tongue extended, his eyes bulged, and gradually, he stopped moving.
I suppressed my sorrow, lowered my head, clenched my fists, my teeth grinding.
"Why didn't you save your cousin, Ethan?"
Suddenly, I was back home. Behind me stood my parents, their eyes vacant and cold. They stared at me wordlessly. My father stepped forward, gripping my shoulders tightly.
"Why didn't you save your cousin, Ethan?" my father asked again, his voice deep and somber.
I quietly pondered the meaning of this dream. I had to escape, even though I knew everything I saw was an illusion. Yet the human emotions inside me were reaching their breaking point.
Suddenly, a gleaming knife stabbed into my chest with a sickening sound. I spat out blood—my mother had stabbed me. I stared in shock as my consciousness blurred from the intense pain.
"It's an illusion. Focus—you can find the way out."
Once again, my instincts spoke from deep inside.
"A son who stands by as others die is no son of mine, Ethan. Go to hell."
Suddenly, my parents pinned me against the wall. My father raised a cleaver and slashed at my neck. With a sickening sound, bone was exposed and blood spurted. I shuddered inside, but felt nothing.
I thought carefully about what my instincts had been telling me. It was all so strange. In this dream, my parents dragged me to the window. With a loud crash, the window shattered, and they threw me from the fifth floor.
With a loud smack, I hit the ground, my limbs mangled and useless. Strangely, I could still see my parents' cold eyes, and in front of me, Howard Zhang hung from a rope, eyes wide open in death, swaying back and forth.
"Instinct really is troublesome, isn't it? Hmph, never mind. Nightmare, let's just devour this kid's consciousness first."
I saw Howard and my parents approach me. Howard's tongue hung long and his eyes bulged, while my parents' hands were stained with blood. The three of them dragged me to my feet.
Rain started pouring down. I felt myself reaching my limit. Howard and my parents kept complaining to me, their voices and expressions seared into my mind as my consciousness began to collapse.
"Ethan Zhang, once I've devoured your consciousness, I'll lock you away for a while so you can't awaken your instincts. Then I'll torment you as much as I want."
Mona Ouyang shouted, and a smile appeared at the corner of my mouth.
"Looks like this is the critical moment."
As I spoke, a yellow orb appeared in my hand. With a crack, it exploded, and suddenly, a brilliant golden light shot out.
A wailing sound echoed. In the golden light, I saw the bluish, swollen-faced ghost I'd seen at the beginning being slowly devoured by the golden glow.
On a sunny afternoon, I lounged comfortably on a chair under a tree. Howard sat beside me, chatting and laughing. Our whole family was out camping—my uncle and father talked in the distance, while my aunt and mother prepared food.
Everything felt so warm and peaceful.
"Oh, by the way, little cousin, May and I broke up. Sigh, my heart is wounded. Sigh, you don't even comfort me."
I chuckled and replied.
"Wounded, my ass, Howard. Clearly May's the one who's heartbroken." Seeing Howard's conflicted look, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.
We spent the whole afternoon playing and eating happily. At night, Howard and I slept in a tent, lying there and gazing at the stars.
"Little cousin, let me be honest. You've got a bit of cowardice in your character. From now on, learn from me, got it?"
"Yeah, Howard, there's so much I need to learn from you—more than I can count, more than I can say."
Even though it was just a dream, I talked with Howard about so many things, feeling truly happy. It had been a long time since we'd spoken so much.