Running Through the Night, The Fools We Were, The Youth We Lost Part One

"I am the Destiny Mentor."

"I am the Mind Mentor."

"I am the Life Mentor."

"I am the Soul Mentor."

We, the Four Dream Mentors, are here today to guide you on your journey to achieve your dreams—turn around for yourself!

You turn around... turn around... around...

Echoes lingered, a cool breeze blowing, the four struck their poses as a few leaves drifted by. Autumn was coming, and the world felt a bit chilly.

After an awkward ten seconds...

"Oh oh oh!!" Master Wudang suddenly got all excited: "It's happening, it's really happening! Big Bro's been awakened—he's here, for real!"

In Jack Young's perception, something hard to detect appeared on the surface of the lake. Maybe it was because Number Two was waking up, Jack could vaguely sense a hazy will. But what that will was actually expressing—only Master Wudang could translate.

"Quick, quick, quick, let's get started!" said the Fate Guide, all fired up. "There's only so much time to 'awaken'—we have to race against the clock!"

"No problem, leave it to me!" Master Wudang was pumped, shouting at the lake with full confidence: "Big Bro, we feel your pain, so today we'll help you fulfill your dreams, one by one! First up—the pain of never losing your virginity, that's the easiest!" Whoosh, Master Wudang waved at the instructor girl: "We've brought a beauty, top quality, don't worry, we'll toss her into the lake right away—pfft, ow ow ow!!"

Jack Young chopped down Master Wudang's idiotic alter ego with a karate hand, wiped the blood off his hand with a white handkerchief, and said to the lake, "You guys are hopeless—let me go first. Bro, I heard you always flunk classes, especially Marxism, Mao Zedong Thought, and Modern History. I gotta say, we're birds of a feather, 'cause I had to retake Modern History twice and do three make-up exams to pass. So, to vent our frustration, I brought you—this!"

Slap! With the vigor of slamming down four twos in a game of Dou Dizhu, Jack Young smacked down a stack of books. On closer look, they were all textbooks on Marxism, Mao Zedong Thought, and Modern History. Jack beckoned his buddies, then yelled fiercely at the pile: "Rip!"

Ripping textbooks? That's gotta be one of life's greatest joys! The sinful thrill of desecrating a classic, the cathartic protest, the sheer satisfaction of destruction—all rolled into one. Maybe only smashing a car—someone else's luxury ride, and not getting caught—could compare. If you count cost-effectiveness, this is hands-down number one!

The four of them got to work, tearing books with a vengeance. At first, the other three were ripping page by page, all civilized like burning joss paper. But with Jack Young leading the charge, soon enough they were shredding with the fury of avenging a sworn enemy. The more they tore, the better it felt, and soon they were cursing as they ripped:

"Screw your national policies, screw your Three Represents, screw your family planning! And most of all—screw your closed-book exams! I can't even memorize vocabulary, who can remember all that crap!" That was Jack Young, bitter and vengeful, gnashing his teeth.

"Who remembers the Eight Disciplines and Five Principles? Who cares about Baiyunebo, Panzhihua, Shuikoushan? Who knows what happened during the Three Kingdoms at the end of the Han Dynasty!" That was Ethan Zhuo, looking fierce and wild, cursing with every page he tore.

"Hey, are you still stuck in high school? And you're clearly complaining about the wrong subject!" That was the instructor girl, tearing books while roasting Master Wudang.

"Why ban homosexuality! Why not allow same-sex marriage! Why is ** not considered rape and not—punished—by—law, damn it!!" That was the Fate Guide, wailing to the sky, clutching his head like he was about to go Super Saiyan.

"Go to hell, Modern History!" Jack Young grabbed the whole book and tore it apart like a hero ripping up enemy soldiers—one wild yank, and it shredded into confetti.

"Oh oh oh, Big Bro, he seems really satisfied!" Master Wudang, ever the mouthpiece, jumped in: "Quick, keep going, this works great!"

"Alright, let's move on to the next topic," Jack Young took the lead. "About failing the English certification—now that's something we can all relate to... 'cause I never passed mine either! Took it so many times, always missed it by just a bit! Hey, girl, did you find any good props? Talking about this makes me want to exorcise my own grudges!"

"Of course, I spent all afternoon and called in every favor I could. Finally found it." The instructor girl turned and handed Jack Young a stack of papers. Jack flipped through them quickly, then burst out laughing—schadenfreude, pure joy, totally unrestrained.

"What is it, what is it? What did you find?" The other two crowded over, curious. Jack Young handed them a few sheets, and when they looked, they were stunned—then burst out laughing, tears streaming down their faces. Master Wudang laughed so hard he collapsed, slapping the floor: "This—this—this Big Bro's English Level 4 scores—it's a straight flush, and the highest one was just one point short, still didn't pass, hahaha!"

A breeze swept by, scattering the papers into the lake. In the dim light, you could see they were all Level 4 certificates from the same person, the scores lined up in a perfect arithmetic sequence—yet still, none passed. Master Wudang laughed so hard he couldn't stand up, and asked the instructor girl, "Xu, did this guy ever pass in the end?"

Hearing that, the instructor girl's expression changed slightly. She'd mentioned her surname before, but being called 'Xu' like that was a special nickname from that era among friends. Watching Master Wudang laugh and slap the floor in that familiar way, she opened her mouth to say something, but held back. Instead, she just laughed and slapped his shoulder: "Nope! Big Bro never passed, left behind the legend of the Level 4 straight flush!"

Jack Young and the Fate Guide didn't say much. They both felt something, but kept quiet—some things lose their magic if you talk about them. Martial arts masters, fortune tellers, teachers—all that got tossed aside. They were just a bunch of ordinary students who'd failed their exams, flipping through those old Level 4 certificates, happily admiring the bizarre scores.

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After the laughter died down, Master Wudang trembled all over, his figure blurred, then snapped back into focus. He looked at the lake, surprised and delighted: "Big Bro's happy! Big Bro's really happy! Come on, let's keep going and tackle the next one!"

So Jack Young took the lead again: "Not finding a good job? Honestly, with Number Two's skills, that shouldn't be a problem. He probably doesn't worry about that. So we're down to the final item—the original issue—never losing his virginity." Jack Young looked around seriously, like facing an enemy: "This last one's the trickiest. You all got your offerings ready?"

"Of course, this is my specialty—leave it to me!" Master Wudang finally found his domain, shouting at the lake: "Big Bro, your little brother's got something good for you, please accept!" Whoosh, he tossed a mysterious object, which arced and landed floating in the water. On closer look—it was a box of condoms.

"Uh..." The other three gave Master Wudang a strange look. Master Wudang was confused: "What?"

Next second—whoosh! The box of condoms flew right back, landing at their feet. Clearly, it was rejected!

"Big Bro's not satisfied?" Master Wudang couldn't believe it: "Why not? This is a top-tier brand, ultra-thin, ultra-sensitive, with spiral texture!"

"Are you stupid? He's still a virgin, probably always will be, and you toss a box of condoms in—are you trying to rub it in?" The Fate Guide roasted him mercilessly, then whoosh, tossed something else: "Watch me! I actually get what an old virgin needs!"

The object spun through the air, splashing into the water. On closer look—it was a stick... but wait, why did this stick look so... weird?

Everyone roasted: "What the heck is that?"

The Fate Guide answered: "It's a massage stick."

Everyone kept roasting: "What's a guy need a stick for? Especially a virgin!"

The Fate Guide blinked: "You guys don't know anything. Why can't men use sticks? This one's a special model, just for the prosta—" Before he could finish, the stick shot out of the lake and smacked him right on the back of the head. Blood spurted, and the Fate Guide collapsed.

"Big Bro's pissed! I heard his roar!" Master Wudang kept up his role as the mouthpiece: "Can't you offer something thoughtful?"

"Thoughtful? Got it!" The Fate Guide instantly revived, pulled out another item—not to throw, but gently placed it in the water, speaking in a warm, caring voice: "Big Bro, it's getting cold, don't catch a chill. Your little bro got your girlfriend a new outfit."

The item floated to the center of the lake. On closer look—it was a pair of gloves!

"Wait, can't forget your essentials!" Whoosh, the Fate Guide tossed another item, which landed in the water. On closer look—it was a roll of toilet paper! The Fate Guide looked confidently at Master Wudang: "Well, Big Bro?"

"Big Bro... he, he complained!" Master Wudang howled like he'd discovered a new continent: "He said, 'Who the hell needs this stuff, you bastards'—but before he complained, there was this awkward pause... pfft!"

A pair of gloves flew over and smacked Master Wudang on the back of the head. He foamed at the mouth and collapsed, struggling to utter his last words: "Big Bro complained again, said 'What do you mean by awkward pause... time... ah...'" Smack! Master Wudang fell tragically, never to rise again.