It didn’t take long for Madam Lou to hear about Marquis Weiyuan going to plead with Lily Evans.
Madam Lou sat upright on her bed, her feet bundled like rice dumplings by Quentin Lin, and she raged, "Marquis Weiyuan—what a pathetic excuse for a man! Groveling before that wretch Lily Evans, does he have no dignity left?"
Lucy Lou stood trembling beside her, her face drained of color by fear.
After venting her anger, Madam Lou snapped, "Let them go if they want! Hmph, leaving doesn’t mean peace for everyone. Once I’m back on my feet, I’ll make them regret it!"
"Aunt, just let it go," Lucy Lou sighed, unable to bear it any longer. Lately, she felt worn out and frustrated. She’d once dreamed of marrying her cousin Alexander Hayes, but ever since his wedding, even without seeing it herself, she constantly overheard the maids gossiping about how the Prince of Qin doted on his wife.
At first, Lucy Lou was bitter and resentful, but gradually she became numb, quietly accepting her fate.
She couldn’t match Lily Evans in any way. The only thing she had was the backing of Madam Lou and Marquis Weiyuan—but for her to marry Alexander Hayes, they’d already fallen out with him.
If not for her, Madam Lou would never have tried to get rid of Mrs. Wang, nor would things have spiraled out of control.
Suddenly, Lucy Lou felt utterly drained. Compared to her own selfish longing, seeing Madam Lou work herself to exhaustion for her sake filled Lucy Lou with guilt.
"Let it go? How could you just let it go!" Madam Lou shrieked, grabbing Lucy Lou’s arm. "Lucy, you like your cousin, don’t you? How can you give up now? I promised you—he’ll be yours! You must trust your aunt!"
Lucy Lou’s eyes welled up with tears. "Aunt, it’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just... Cousin and his wife are so close, and I’m just hopelessly in love on my own. Compared to her, I’m lacking in looks, talent, everything—I really don’t deserve him. It was foolish of me to dream of marrying him, but now I understand. Those were just empty wishes. I’ve let go. I just want to stay by your side, Aunt."
"No! Lucy, this is what your cousin owes you, and I’ll make sure he pays his debt! Alexander Hayes should marry you—he should cherish you for life!" Madam Lou was almost hysterical. "Don’t worry about it, Lucy. I’ll find a way. Trust your aunt!"
"No, Aunt, really, just let it go," Lucy Lou said quietly, feeling utterly spent.
But Madam Lou seemed possessed, stubbornly clinging to her belief.
Trying to soothe her, Lucy Lou agreed just to calm Madam Lou down for now. Once Madam Lou fell asleep, Lucy Lou stepped outside, exhaled deeply, and gazed at the sky, feeling lost and uncertain.
Back when she was infatuated with Alexander Hayes, Lucy Lou’s heart was filled only with thoughts of him; marrying him was her sole wish.
But now, she felt empty. The person she loved was out of reach, and her aunt’s relentless plotting made her feel even more helpless.
Lucy Lou wandered aimlessly through the courtyard, her steps heavy, her heart heavier still.
She realized she’d never truly been happy. The only thing she’d ever known was longing and disappointment.
She stopped beneath a blooming osmanthus tree, the sweet scent drifting in the night air, and closed her eyes, letting the tears fall silently.
For the first time, Lucy Lou admitted to herself: she was tired. So very tired.
She didn’t want to fight anymore. She just wanted peace.