"It seems you've finally gained a bit of self-awareness, Ethan Zhang."
Xu Fu's face was lit with joy—a joy bordering on madness.
"Is there really something to be happy about?"
I roared, grabbing Xu Fu by the collar with one hand. He burst out laughing.
"Since ancient times, scenes like this have repeated endlessly, haven't they? People in love, yet unable to be together. Clearly unable to live without each other, yet forced to kill one another. Ha! Is there anything more thrilling than that?"
"Madman."
I shoved Xu Fu away, finally spitting out those two words. Xu Fu covered his mouth, laughing uncontrollably.
"We too have lived through all of this, Ethan Zhang. We've endured the baptism of choice. To gain something always means to lose something. That's the strange way of this world. Wanting to have both the fish and the bear's paw—such things exist only in delusions."
Xu Fu grew agitated, his expression twisting. And at last, I understood what all his words meant. Perhaps, as he said, I had already realized it, yet still couldn't face it.
"Talking won't change anything now, will it?"
My words felt as if I were asking myself. Xu Fu laughed, nodding.
"Ah, talking can't change anything anymore. In essence, either you kill Rachel Lan, or you wait for Rachel Lan to kill you. That's all there is to it."
I trembled all over. To be hated by the one you love—maybe there's still a way to slowly fix that. But to bring bottomless murderous intent to the one you love, to be hated so deeply—maybe there's no solution at all. That murderous intent is the hardest thing to face.
"Untouchable, is it!"
My heart was ice cold. I spoke each word slowly. Xu Fu applauded from the side.
"Correct, Ethan Zhang. You are untouchable. Which means you cannot save Rachel Lan. Even if you could take her away from this world, you still wouldn't solve anything. There's nothing crueler than this—your beloved wants to kill you, doesn't she?"
I stared blankly at everything around me. From the moment I arrived in this world, everything I did was to find Rachel Lan. The scene of Cao Wanzhi meeting Grace Hu flashed through my mind. I envied them—their reunion brought joy. But between Rachel Lan and me, there was a huge, uncrossable chasm beneath our feet.
"After understanding the nature of this world, you should be even clearer: you can't do it. If you want to take Rachel Lan away, you have to connect this world with the living world. But the Rachel Lan here is only the true, evil part. What about the other parts? The only way is to kill her. And if you do, you lose the evil part of her that exists here."
I squatted on the ground, expressionless. Inside, I felt desolate. Before, when Emperor God and the others created people, they tried to piece together a whole person and bring them back to life. But if that person died again, they'd break into even more fragments.
"You've seen it, haven't you? The memories of how this world developed. Have you ever seen anyone who died get pieced back together again?"
After a long while, I shook my head.
"It's time to face reality, Ethan Zhang. It's always been this way throughout history. Those who succeed—even up to their own parents, down to their wives and children—can kill without hesitation. And you, are you really going to give up everything for this stumbling block?"
I slowly stood up and looked at Xu Fu.
"What you said—I could never do such a thing in my whole life. That's why I'm different from you all. Xu Fu, didn't you already know that?"
"Suit yourself, Ethan Zhang. Heh."
Xu Fu smiled. I stood up, and he sat back in his chair, closed his eyes, and ignored me.
Rachel Lan became like this because of what happened when she died. But the biggest reason is probably the darkness.
In my mind, I searched for Rachel Lan's location and found her. She was still in her office, working meticulously. In an instant, I moved to her side.
Those beautiful eyes still burned my heart.
"Ethan Zhang, why did you come looking for me?"
Step by step, I walked toward Rachel Lan and reached out my hand. With a slap, Rachel Lan knocked my hand away.
"What are you trying to do, Ethan Zhang?"
"Is there really no chance—not even a tiny bit—for us?"
"None."
Two harsh, icy words. I choked up, not knowing what to say. The feeling was unbearably painful.
I slowly turned around, forcing a smile.
"Ruoxi, I will still save you, no matter what."
"There's no need, Ethan Zhang. You..."
I returned to Rachel Lan's house. From the kitchen came a strange smell—it was Wu Xiaoli, cooking. The kitchen was a mess; she'd clearly failed many times. Spices and food scraps littered the table, along with piles of discarded food. I quietly watched Wu Xiaoli from behind, lost in thought.
"Qingyuan, why did you just appear behind me without a sound? So annoying."
Smiling, I walked over and began to explain the right way to handle food, but Wu Xiaoli quickly pressed her hand over my mouth.
"Is something on your mind, Qingyuan? Tell me, please."
I hesitated. Half an hour had passed. I sat on the sofa, Wu Xiaoli beside me, comforting me. But I still couldn't bring myself to talk about Rachel Lan.
"It's okay, Qingyuan."
A gentle hand rested on my chest, caressing me. Wu Xiaoli leaned in softly.
[Irrelevant passage about continuing to the next page. Skip translation.]
"It's okay, Qingyuan. You've always been this way—stubborn about what you believe in, but full of contradictions. Just be like you always were, no matter what happens. If you change your true intentions, you won't be yourself anymore."
I stared at Wu Xiaoli in shock, wide-eyed. This was perhaps my hardest decision yet. But really, the answer had long been in my heart.
I gently stroked Wu Xiaoli's forehead and kissed her.
"Sorry, Xiaoli. Go ahead and cook."
Dinner was a gloomy affair. Rachel Lan had come home, and the three of us sat around the table.
"Is it not very tasty, Qingyuan?"
Rachel Lan ate only a little before putting down her bowl and chopsticks. I kept eating in big mouthfuls, but inside, it felt like I was crying. I feared death.
After a long while, I finished eating and looked at Wu Xiaoli, smiling as I spoke.
"It's delicious. Thank you, Xiaoli."
Suddenly, Rachel Lan stood up. She didn't even glance at me and left, heading upstairs on her own.
I got up too, but Wu Xiaoli grabbed the corner of my shirt. I gave her a reassuring smile.
"It's okay, Xiaoli."
Tears streamed down. Wu Xiaoli was crying. Maybe she already sensed what I was about to do next.
"It's okay, Xiaoli. Everything will be fine."
"I'll wait for you, Qingyuan. I'm waiting for you. I want you to take me out shopping again, Qingyuan. I'll be waiting for you..."
I turned around, and two arms hugged me. I gasped and nodded. In an instant, I vanished from Wu Xiaoli's side.
"So, Ethan Zhang, have you made up your mind?"
Xu Fu's wicked face was twisted in a sly grin.
"Yes, I've made up my mind. In this whole world, the only one who can save Rachel Lan is me—only me."
In an instant, Xu Fu's smile disappeared. Then his eyes widened, and he started to roar, nearly hysterical, grabbing me.
"Do you want to die, Ethan Zhang? So many people can't reach or obtain what you have, and now you're just going to hand it over to someone else? Are you insane?"
I shook my head and shoved Xu Fu away.
"This is my decision. I don't need your advice. Only my instincts can save Rachel Lan."
I spoke each word slowly, sitting down on the ground.