I sit quietly on the rooftop, silent, my mind completely blank as I press my slightly aching forehead.
Future Ethan Zhang still stands behind me, never leaving.
The night wind carries a chill, but my heart feels even colder and more desolate. I don't know how to face these emotions, or even why I'm sitting here.
"Everything happened too suddenly, Ethan."
I curl up, feeling as if all the vitality in my body has been drained in an instant. I've witnessed too much death; I thought I'd become numb to it, knowing where souls go after death and what form they take to continue existing.
Ever since I took over the soul-collecting work from my father, countless days and nights have passed. I've seen too many dead, witnessed what they become after death. At first, I was fearful, or perhaps unable to accept it.
Knowing someone is about to die but being powerless to do anything about it is unbearable for me. I've tried again and again to change things, but most attempts ended in failure. What stands out most in my memory is the foolish thing I did once to try to save an old lady who had always been kind to me.
But Walter Wu stopped me. He mercilessly tied me up and completed the soul-collecting work in my place. After that, I grew to dislike everything about being an Underworld Denizen. Yet, perhaps something drove me on, and I returned to the path of soul collecting.
"This is his fate."
I will always remember how Walter Wu once took me to witness everything about a dying person. Time itself is governed by laws—whether human or ghost, all must obey. When a person dies, they become a remnant soul and go to Hell; when a ghost dies, they turn to ashes, leaving nothing behind.
It wasn't until I learned of the existence of the Shadow Realm that I felt a bit of relief. The things that had passed away still left traces, still existed within this vast and endless cycle of fate—they hadn't vanished. I gradually came to understand this, though my college days were still hard to endure.
I've encountered countless wandering souls and wild ghosts who missed the best time for soul collection and could only continue to exist miserably in the living world—a place that no longer belongs to them, living on in secrecy. Back then, many people called me a freak, but I still sometimes warned those close to death about their fate.
Though life and death are predestined, I can't bear to turn a blind eye when I see life about to end. Walter Wu has warned me countless times, but I always ignored him.
Again and again, I ran around dealing with all sorts of ghost-related matters. Even approaching thirty, I was still doing this work.
Meeting Ethan Zhang might have truly been an accident, or maybe it wasn't. Whenever I think of it, my heart aches. People often say that meeting your other half is a wonderful thing.
But I've never experienced such feelings. When I first met him, I only felt the heavy aura of death around him—he must have been someone who did evil. That night, I tried to persuade him to stop.
I cover my cheeks, my breathing growing rapid. I stand up and slowly walk to the edge, feeling deeply unwilling. I say nothing, but part ways.
For a man whose looks are unremarkable and even a bit awkward, I was only curious about him at first, because there was always a ghostly aura about him. Suspecting he used evil spirits to do bad things, I wanted to expose the evil ghost behind him and then contact my friends in the Ghost Burial Squad to deal with the villain and the ghost.
People used to say I was suspicious, overly sensitive about ghosts. But as I got to know him, I realized all my suspicions were wrong. Ethan Zhang, though fragile and stubborn as a human, has a kind and upright heart. That reassured me, even though he was followed by an evil ghost.
I don't know when it started, but this man—plain in appearance yet kind at heart—left a mark deep within me.
After I was captured by Lord Wraith, I thought my life would be completely over. But when I saw Ethan Zhang arrive in the ghost realm, my heart filled with hope and a feeling I couldn't describe.
I smiled faintly and let out a long breath.
"Honestly... why am I thinking about all this now!"
Footsteps sound behind me. Future Ethan Zhang comes to my side, placing a hand on my shoulder. I turn to look at him.
"There's no need to hold back, if... Rachel Lan."
I shake my head and start walking slowly.
Someone once told me that crying solves nothing, and that's true. I don't even know when I was completely drawn to this man. When I'm with Ethan Zhang, I feel safe and happy, no matter how big the crisis. Because I know—the man before me is trustworthy.
"What I just told you... I hope you won't tell anyone else, Rachel Lan. If one day, there's even the slightest chance..."
"Don't say any more."
I shake my head and quietly sit down. I raise a hand, staring at my slightly trembling fingers and sweaty palm.
"I'm leaving now, Rachel Lan. Take care of yourself. Hope is always reserved for those who never give up—just as he never gave up on you. So I hope you..."
"I won't cry."
I stand up and look at Future Ethan Zhang.
If crying alone could bring him back, I'd cry until my tears ran dry. But that's not reality. No matter how sad I am, no matter how much I cry, Ethan is gone. Nowhere to be found in this world. But...
A fierce wind blows. I tilt my head back, feeling the blockage in my heart slowly begin to fade.
This was his choice. I will quietly honor the choice he made and trust in it. At least now, the Underworld Denizens no longer need to worry about being unable to reincarnate after death. The Six Paths have resumed their cycle. If this is what he wished for, then I...
Two strong arms rest on my shoulders.
"Miracles will happen, Rachel Lan. Don't lose hope!"
Future Ethan Zhang leaves. I remain on the rooftop. As sobs escape me, I turn and see Helen Lane walk over and embrace me.
"Mom, why are you crying harder than me? I'm fine."
I look over quietly. My dad is here too, his face still pale.
"What's wrong with you two? It's fine—I just want to go for a walk."
After leaving the café, I walk quietly down the street. No matter how much I try to restrain or disguise it, or make excuses, the sadness in my heart won't fade or dissipate.
Gradually, I come to a deserted alley. Holding my head, I slump against the wall. I admit I'm strong—exceptionally so. That's just my nature. I don't want anyone to see me with tears streaming down my face. Bitter tears spill from my eyes, over and over.
I don't know what to do. No one can hear, no one can feel this pain. Suddenly, I lift my head and look ahead. In an instant, I stand up and stumble deeper into the alley.
"E...than..."
I stare in shock at Ethan Zhang suddenly appearing before me. It's truly him, but I can't sense his presence—not even a trace of familiarity. Yet I know for certain, it's Ethan Zhang.
I reach out, wanting to touch him, but the moment I touch his body, Ethan Zhang's form seems to dissolve like smoke. I tremble, unable to contain the grief that wells up inside me.
I cry helplessly, only able to sob. My tears won't stop. Again and again, I reach out to touch him, but every time, it's the same.
"Say something, Ethan..."
At that moment, I widen my eyes. Ethan Zhang seems to be saying something, but I can't hear him—I can only see his lips moving.
Gradually, I understand what he's saying: It's okay.
I widen my eyes as a hand slowly presses against my cheek. With a familiar, awkward smile, his face beams at me.
I close my eyes, feeling a breeze brush my face. When I open them again, I see only a wisp of gray dust slowly fading before me. I reach out, but everything is already gone.
Under the starry sky, I feel petrified. The pale moonlight shines brightly all around. I can't move, not even a single step.
"Roxie, don't be sad anymore."
A voice from my instinctive mind echoes. I can do nothing—even with such instincts, I'm powerless. Earlier, Future Ethan Zhang said the Starshard Radiance he gave me contains Ethan Zhang's aura, sealed within. Maybe, someday, I'll see Ethan Zhang again. He told me to keep it safe.
After a while, I wipe away my tears and head out. I plan to go home, but as I reach the alley entrance, I see a man leaning against the side.
As I turn my head, I'm surprised—it's Ethan Zhang, but not the one I know. He's wearing a snow-white Taoist robe, carrying a sword on his back, and his hair is tied up.
"First time meeting, Miss Lan. I come from the Past Endpoint. I'm only here to give you a word of advice: If your heart turns toward the sun, sadness can't harm you. Take this—maybe one day it will help you. Though it may go against certain things, it doesn't matter anymore."