How Can I Be Worthy of Loving You

Bailu's eyes were bright and full of warmth, her smile extremely gentle, but to Yuan Yu, that smile was like a knife stabbing his heart.

If he mentioned marriage, Bailu would be so happy—did she not have even a hint of romantic feelings for him?

Hadn't she understood his feelings after all his efforts for her these days?

Young Master Yuan's steward forced a smile despite his bitter and sour words, "Sister Bailu, even you tease me. There's no sign of marriage yet."

"But Brother Yuan will marry sooner or later," Bailu said, handing the wine cup to Yuan Yu with a bright smile, "A man should marry when grown; you'll bring a sister-in-law home sooner or later."

"But a woman should marry too..." Yuan Yu stared at Bailu and blurted out.

Bailu's eyes dimmed in an instant, as if her heart was pierced. A nightmare she desperately tried to forget resurfaced. She shuddered, spilling the wine in her cup all over Yuan Yu.

"Ah, sorry," Bailu withdrew her hand, lowering her head, seemingly struggling to suppress her emotions.

"It's okay," Yuan Yu looked at Bailu's trembling shoulders, knowing she was hurting inside, and blamed himself for his recklessness.

He knew Bailu couldn't bear to hear talk of her marrying, yet he couldn't help but speak carelessly, hitting a sore spot.

Yuan Yu wiped the wine off his chest with a handkerchief; neither of them had the mood to drink anymore.

After a while, Bailu lifted her pale face, desperately controlling her emotions, shaking her head to wake herself from the nightmare.

"Shall I accompany you for a walk in the garden? Get some fresh air?" Yuan Yu looked at Bailu, eyes full of pity.

Bailu shook her head, not looking at him, eyes downcast: "No need."

"Sigh..." Yuan Yu sighed, full of self-blame and pain, feeling stifled. He took the wine jug and began to drink heavily, glass after glass.

Bailu sat silently beside him, watching him drink. The others at the table saw Yuan Yu drinking and began to cheer and urge him to drink more.

Surprisingly, Yuan Yu didn't refuse; he drank as much as they poured for him.

In the end, Yuan Yu's face was flushed red; he couldn't even stand steadily. Sitting on a chair, leaning on the table, he still reached for the wine jug.

"Don't drink anymore," Bailu sharply snatched the wine jug away.

Yuan Yu looked at her with drunken, blurry eyes, his heart aching like a knife: "Today, the master has a happy event; I'm happy! When I'm happy, I like to drink! Sister Bailu, give me the wine, I haven't had enough yet!"

"You've drunk too much; you can't drink anymore," Bailu bit her lip, her eyes complex as she looked at him.

Yuan Yu grinned and shook his head, then called to another steward, "Come on, give me more wine!"

The steward threw a small wine jug to Yuan Yu. He wobbled as he stood up, stepped on a stool, raised the wine jug, and toasted Yuan Jie, "Master, Yuan Yu toasts you!"

Yuan Yu said this while tilting his head back and gulping down the wine.

Everyone thought Yuan Yu was celebrating on behalf of his master. Seeing him drink, they began to cheer and applaud.

Only Bailu bit her lip and watched him. When he finished and was about to get more wine, Bailu grabbed his arm and whispered, "I'm begging you, Brother Yuan, please don't drink anymore."

"You beg me?" Yuan Yu looked at Bailu with blurry drunken eyes, holding his chest, laughing and crying at the same time, "Do you know how much this hurts?"

"I..." Bailu's face instantly turned pale. She bit her lip and instinctively took a step back.

Without Bailu's support, Yuan Yu lost his balance and fell forward onto the table, dozing off. Half asleep, he seemed to hear a sorrowful woman's sigh by his ear: "I'm such a ruined flower, how can I marry... how can I deserve, to like you..."