Morning of the next day, in a big ol’ courtyard—who could’ve guessed the United Rogue Front would be sprouting up faster than dandelions after a spring rain? Barely half a month old and already stirring up trouble!
"You folks sure got guts—pulling sneaky moves right under the Alliance Against Evil’s nose?" Simone just couldn’t with these people.
Three hours earlier, in the dead of night, Barry Sherman and Stayfree (Kotex) snuck them back into Xiangyang, promising a safe crash pad. Xiangyang’s huge, so after a bunch of twists and turns, the four of them ended up in this out-of-the-way courtyard.
At first, nothing seemed off—it’s normal to have a hideout in Xiangyang, right? Looked like Barry Sherman and Stayfree (Kotex) had really thought this safehouse thing through. But come morning, a whole gang of strangers poured out, hanging red streamers and lighting firecrackers like they were opening a new Walmart. Neighbors swarmed in, the place was hopping, and the street was louder than a Fourth of July parade.
Simone, curious as a cat, wondered if there was some big secret to this safehouse. She slipped out for a peek and came back with a face full of black lines. Sure enough, the front hall was about to open up shop—a medical clinic, no less. The sign was still under wraps, but word of mouth had already made the place a local legend.
"Hey Auntie San, heard there’s a new clinic opening here. What’s it called... Gentle Hands Hall or something?"
"Not Gentle Hands, it’s Miracle Hands! They say the docs here are miracle workers, especially for women’s troubles. Er Gou Dan’s mom, looks like you finally got a place to get that checked out!"
By now, everyone was wise to the game. This so-called new clinic? Actually a branch of the Lady’s Specialist group, and—surprise!—the United Rogue Front’s Xiangyang base. With all this fanfare, these guys were about as subtle as a marching band in a library. Simone massaged her temples. Setting up shop right in the Alliance Against Evil’s backyard? These folks really proved the old saying: when you’re bold enough, the sky’s the limit.
Up front, you had every aunt, cousin, and twice-removed uncle’s niece crowding in for the grand opening freebies. The street was packed, drums banging, and last night’s martial arts brawl was just tea-time gossip for the regular folks.
Meanwhile, the real-deal secret base out back was just as lively. In this not-too-big courtyard, you had twenty or thirty folks—some in monk robes, some in Daoist gear, some looking like fortune tellers, but most decked out as doctors. "Lady’s Specialist" was stitched right on their uniforms—yep, even matching outfits now!
Who would've thought—the United Rogue Front is growing faster than weeds after rain. It’s only been half a month since we started, and already we’re making waves.
"Listen, the Beggars' Guild has eyes everywhere in Xiangyang—every alley, every corner. There are still thousands of martial artists hanging around. If the Beggars' Guild figures out this hideout, they'll storm in to wipe out the 'evil' and grab the bounty. Wouldn’t you all get swept up in one go?" Simone was not impressed with this base at all. "Don’t think my boss always shows up right on time to bail you out, either."
"Ha! We mountain folk have our own tricks, don’t underestimate our brains." Barry Sherman gave a proud thumbs-up. "It’s not so easy to see through our setup. First off, our business isn’t fake—it’s the real deal. See those guys over there with the sleazy grins? They're actual doctors, top-notch at what they do, just roped into our gang. Our cover is legit, you couldn’t ask for better. Plus, we’ve got plans. Last night at the Heroes' Summit, we went in ready for anything—uh, oof!"
Before Barry could finish, Stayfree (Kotex) nailed him in the kidneys with an elbow. He nearly saw stars.
Stayfree (Kotex) looked utterly shadowed, fuming: "You dare bring up last night?" The tone, the glare, the whole vibe—pure drama queen. And all because of last night’s "colorful incident." Sure, the embarrassment at the scene was bad enough, but what really kept Stayfree (Kotex) up at night was the fallout.
Even though he’d already outed himself as a certified pervert, the martial world’s full of big mouths—any juicy rumor, and they’ll make it juicier. These fighters don’t care about the facts; whether it’s Zach Ironpillar, Wayne Sledgehammer, Barry Sherman, or Stayfree (Kotex), they’ll gossip however they please. Just remembering all those judgmental looks from the crowd, clutching their butts and side-eyeing the pair, made Stayfree (Kotex) shudder.
If one day the tale of 'Brother Ironpillar and Little Sledgehammer’s Forbidden Romance' gets spread by those loudmouths, how’s he supposed to survive in the United Rogue Front? How could he ever compete for the Four Cardinal Titles? Even if he didn’t care about all that fame, what about when he’s 'doing business' and the girls say, "So you’re that Little Sledgehammer? It’s fine, let the haters hate—we’re here for true love! Go for it, bestie!" That’d be the end of him.
Ahead lies a dead end—a pitch-black future, not a glimmer of hope in sight!
So what’s a guy to do in times like these? No options left—just gotta go all in, no turning back now—
"Eaaaaagle~~~~~ Boss~~~~~!" Stayfree (Kotex) cranked his lightness skill to the max, took a running leap, and dove for Jade Hawk Johnson’s leg with a move so dramatic it could’ve carved grooves in the floor. Grinning flirtatiously, he whipped out a sheet of paper from his sleeve: "Your humble servant has a report~~~~"
"I’ve still got people to punch—but I’m in a good mood today, so I’ll let it slide." Old Eagle twisted his waist, dodged the tackle, and snatched the paper mid-spin. One look, and his eyebrow shot up in excitement: "Whoa, you’re quick! Not bad, not bad—this deserves a reward."
[SKIP SYSTEM MESSAGE]
Simone leaned in for a peek—it was a list, packed with names. At the top, five bold words: All-Heaven Beauty List!
"Whoa—" The surrounding goofballs craned their necks for a look, all dying to see the goods. Beauty lists on internet forums always get roasted, but after every roast, guys just can’t help but check the next one. In the Southern Song era, this list was even more groundbreaking. You could say it’s basically the United Rogue Front’s roadmap for the future. No doubt, the whole martial world—good guys and bad—will be fighting over this list for years to come.
But that’s all in the future. For now, Old Eagle just glanced over the sheet, totally casual.
"Boss Eagle, let me introduce." Barry Sherman, suddenly full of energy, started explaining: "The All-Heaven Beauty List isn’t finished yet—right now it’s just a rough draft, no categories. But to honor your leadership, Boss Eagle, we’ll break it down further: ‘Martial Beauties,’ ‘Courtesan Beauties,’ ‘Civilian Beauties,’ ‘Noble Beauties,’ and the top tier, the ‘All-Heaven Beauty Ranking.’"
The nearby goofballs gasped: "So professional—no wonder you’re a United Rogue Front veteran!" "With Boss Eagle leading, we know exactly what to do next!" "Joining the United Rogue Front was the best decision ever!"
Barry Sherman coughed, barely hiding his pride, and kept going: "Right now, Boss Eagle’s got the rough draft—no rankings yet, but it’s split into two levels: ‘National Stunner’ and ‘Heavenly Knockout.’ The Heavenly Knockout gals are a cut above."
"Yep." Old Eagle scanned the list—sure enough, two sections. The top, obviously the Heavenly Knockouts: fewer names, with short blurbs. The bottom, National Stunners—just names, no notes. Making the National Stunner cut means you’re a looker, but like the seventy-two minor stars of Liangshan: famous on their own, but in the big hall, you’re just another face in the crowd.
"Let’s see who made the Heavenly Knockout list." Old Eagle checked each name, nodding: "Du Banzhuang, the top courtesan of Jiangnan; Chu Yunluo, the beauty of Putian—heard of them. Head of the Ancient Tomb Sect, Xiaolongnu, wife of the Divine Eagle Hero Yang Guo? Guo Xiang, second daughter of Guo Jing, granddaughter of the Eastern Heretic Huang Yaoshi? Those two I know well. Next up… the emperor’s concubine? You guys are wild—eyeing the emperor’s harem now. Then… Suzhou Stunner? What’s the deal, no name, just a sky-high rating?"
That’s right—no name at that spot, just "Suzhou Stunner." You don’t just toss around a title like "Heavenly Knockout." In the martial world, "peerless master" means you’re at least Five Supreme Masters level. You don’t have to be unmatched, but you’d better be ultra-rare, limited edition to earn "peerless."
The words 'Suzhou Stunner' were so in-your-face, Simone couldn’t stand it. Who the heck is that, anyway—writing something so hate-inducing?
"That ‘Suzhou Stunner’—I vouched for her!" Stayfree (Kotex) perked up, coming clean: "About a month ago, the day before heading to Sichuan, I caught a glimpse of a peerless beauty in Suzhou. Only saw her once, and no matter how hard I looked, couldn’t find her again. But I swear on my seven-time lover reputation, that ice queen totally deserves the Heavenly Knockout title!"
A mystery beauty with no clear identity? Looks like the United Rogue Front’s goofballs won’t be able to sit still. Suzhou ladies, watch out—the wolves are coming.
"Is she really that pretty?" Simone scoffed. "How gorgeous could she be? Maybe your taste is just off."
"No worries, Missy—she might be beautiful, but she’s only on par with you." One of the goofballs jumped in with flattery: "See, you’re a Heavenly Knockout too!"
Simone glanced at the list—sure enough, her name was right there: Mystery Beauty, one of Old Eagle’s Twin Beauties, real name unknown, beauty covers the world. Best feature: mountains from one angle, peaks from another, heights and sizes all over the place.
"Who wrote that last part? I’ll rip their face off!"
Let’s put Simone’s proud-but-annoyed feelings aside for now—Old Eagle spotted a much more familiar name on the list:
White-Haired Bandit Queen, horse thief, real name unknown, true face unknown, rumored to be stunning, active in the Western Regions. Word is, she’s ruthless, deadly, and totally lawless—took down over a dozen bandit gangs in a week, beat the boss of the Vajra Sect, and even led her crew to wipe out the little Wusun Kingdom. United Rogue Front members, think twice before getting involved.
"There really are no secrets in this world," Old Eagle thought, feeling all kinds of complicated—his side account was now snooping on his main account. "Never thought the United Rogue Front could pull this off. Looks like our time is running out."