My breathing was a little rapid as I quietly leaned against the window. The sky had cleared, but my young cousin Howard Zhang was still struggling in the grip of illness on the hospital bed. My uncle and aunt looked pale and exhausted.
The doctor had come several times already, but the situation remained unstable. Signs of meningitis were appearing, and the fever would not break. Howard's life hung by a thread.
I had once overheard my mother regretfully mention this incident. Although Howard eventually recovered, it took him more than three years of rehabilitation to get back to normal, and he was held back in school, graduating from university much later than others.
Howard's body never fully recovered due to excessive medication, but he managed to regain his health in three years.
Just then, a wisp of black mist rose from Howard's body. He opened his eyes—it was the Karmic Affliction. Tilting his head, his pitch-black eyes stared straight at me.
“This is fate. Howard Zhang was supposed to be dead long ago, but...”
The room door opened.
“Amitabha. Benefactor Zhang, this old monk apologizes for arriving late.”
It was a monk. I stared in surprise, having never seen him before.
“Master, I beg you, please find a way to save my son.”
Benefactor Howard, you have a connection with the Buddha. This old monk will do his utmost to help, but there is one thing I hope you can agree to.
My uncle spoke with sincere earnestness.
Benefactor Howard has a connection with the Buddha, but he also has unresolved ties to the mortal world. I hope that when Howard turns thirty, he can enter the Empty Gate, so that he may find peace.
This was the first time I heard of such a thing. After arriving at Howard's place, the monk investigated for a while, then covered Howard with a yellow cloth and sat silently on the floor, chanting.
Do you know why Howard Zhang is still alive? It is because of the Buddhist intervention. But he keeps turning away from the Buddha, and his accumulated virtue has been nearly exhausted. This is what he deserves now; you can do nothing about it. Howard will soon disappear.
Looking at the Karmic Affliction on the bed, I remained silent, lost in thought. The situation was still critical. If I couldn't find a way to save Howard, he would soon disappear.
Things must be faced and solved. Howard ended up like this because he never looked back or tried to resolve anything, choosing instead to bury or forget them. This is the most dangerous thing of all.
After chanting scriptures through the night, the monk left. Howard, whose breath had been weak, gradually improved and regained consciousness within three or four days.
Afterward, Howard began rehabilitation. His arms and legs were completely unresponsive, so he had to stay at home all day and couldn't go anywhere. For someone who loved to run around, this was extremely cruel.
After three months, Howard was finally able to walk out of the house with two crutches, taking slow steps. I could tell he was deeply unwilling, but every time he passed the fake mountain, he would pause and look at it without any resentment, instead feeling happy.
In the end, Howard was expelled for disrupting the other students' learning, especially since the other children were so young.
Under his parents' strict discipline, Howard finally progressed to second grade thanks to the pressure of a private tutor.
This time Howard spoke little and listened attentively in class, but something happened that shocked both parents and students, and the adults were furious.
He shared a gentle kiss with a girl in his class.
Such things were absolutely not allowed at the time, so Howard couldn't remain at the school for even a few months.
Before he left, the girl told Howard to marry her when he grew up, and Howard agreed.
See, he brings such deep disaster to others. In your eyes Howard Zhang may seem good, but to most people, he is a poisonous presence. This is his karma—no one can escape it.
My uncle, exasperated, resorted to his old methods and punished Howard severely. Howard began studying at home again, and this time learned a bit faster. Eventually, he was accepted to a better school and became a third grader.
This time Howard seemed to have learned his lesson. Aside from some minor scuffles with the boys, he behaved himself and got through half a year smoothly.
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Old habits die hard, and maybe that suited Howard. He started fighting again, this time with older students—over a girl.
Once, twice, and after many more times, Howard was again sent home, carrying his backpack alone, led away by my furious uncle.
This time my uncle was truly enraged. He decided Howard would no longer go to school, but stay at home instead.
It was around this time, when Howard was twelve, that I was adopted by my parents and met Howard for the first time.
"I'm your cousin, Qingyuan. Remember, from now on we're brothers."
I looked at my younger self, a hint of joy on my face.
Every time Howard came over, my parents would remind him not to take me anywhere dangerous.
And Howard never did anything reckless with me, just ordinary play.
Eventually my uncle noticed Howard seemed to have changed, and finally agreed to let him go back to school. Around that time, my uncle's real estate business was thriving, and he was so busy he barely had time for Howard.
When Howard entered middle school, his true nature resurfaced—smoking, drinking, fighting, chasing girls. He got along with many people, both in and out of school. Howard was a rich kid and generous, and many liked to hang out with him.
You can't hide a fire with paper. When my uncle found out, he nearly fainted with rage, but his work was too important. Every time he came home and heard something about Howard, he'd discipline him.
Gradually, as Howard got older, my uncle couldn't control him anymore. All he could do was clean up Howard's messes whenever trouble arose.
Howard's wild behavior only got worse, and he seemed to enjoy it.
But every time I saw Howard, he was always good to me.
"Ha, see? He's already done so many bad things. If those people had focused on their studies, maybe their futures would be different. But they can't compare to Howard Zhang—he has a rich father. The others? They have nothing. That's why Howard's karma is so heavy. He'll never pay it off in this life, nor escape it, so naturally..."
"No."
I said coldly, staring at Karmic Affliction and smiling.
"What's wrong with that?"
I didn't say anything. Howard was a troublemaker, and even his own parents should have lost patience with him long ago, but my uncle and aunt never did.
"If you ever make a single mistake, I'll kick you out immediately."
That was something my uncle once said to Howard when he was in eighth grade. Looking at everything Howard has done, I realize now that he believed he was doing the right thing.
When Howard was in first grade, he brought real joy to many of his classmates, letting them enjoy childhood instead of always carrying heavy schoolbags and doing homework.
In second grade, that girl had social anxiety and was invisible in class, always alone. Howard was the one who brought her out of her shell.
And in third grade, when kids from his class were bullied by older students, Howard stepped in and taught the bullies a lesson, so they never dared bother the younger kids again. Howard always took on burdens that weren't really his to bear.
In the years that followed, it was always the same—Howard stood at the front, repeating the same thing. Maybe my uncle saw this too. He was strict in words, but in his heart he loved Howard, because his son had never truly shamed him—at least not in his eyes.
A father knows his son best, so my uncle never kicked Howard out. That's the Howard I remember—never one to back down.
"Ha, Zhang Qingyuan, isn't that enough? Your cousin's time is almost up..."
"No, that's not right. These burdens were never Howard's to bear. I think I finally understand why his karma is so heavy—you can't take it away, because Howard has always fought to live."