Fool, Perhaps the Last Time I Hold You

How can I possibly forgive you?

Serena stiffened, her body tensing and her back unconsciously straightening.

In front of Prince Nolan, she never wanted to show weakness—especially now.

Prince Nolan tightened his hold, pulling her into his embrace so Serena could lean against him.

With her belly so big, Serena felt heavy. She wasn’t the type to make herself suffer; she didn’t reject Prince Nolan’s kindness, but she didn’t answer him either. She just felt she’d failed herself.

Prince Nolan’s presence here—what did it mean?

It meant everything Prince Nolan did in Mystic Healer Valley, and everything he did yesterday, had achieved exactly what he wanted. Otherwise, how could Left Shore and the Eighteen Riders possibly have let him in?

Sure enough, the whole world thought she ought to forgive Prince Nolan. No one cared whether she was happy.

"Serena…" Prince Nolan called softly, almost in a whisper. While Serena was lost in thought, he slid a hairpin into her bun, then leaned against her shoulder and gently said, "Serena, please forgive me, won’t you? Just give me one more chance—the last chance."

"I can’t." Serena couldn’t see what kind of hairpin it was; she just felt her hair loosen and her head grow heavy. She wanted to reach up and take it out, but Prince Nolan stopped her. "At least wait until I’ve left before you take it off."

In Serena’s hair was a Red Plum Jade Pin—top-grade red jade, as brilliant as fire, but the craftsmanship was so crude it wasted the fine material.

Serena couldn’t see it. But she could guess.

Every year since their return from Lyndaria, Prince Nolan had given her a plum blossom hairpin—always wooden until now. This one was clearly heavier.

Since Prince Nolan wouldn’t let her take it off, Serena didn’t bother to fight him. She wasn’t foolish enough to make herself miserable on purpose. All she had to do was wait… she could manage that.

Serena stood motionless, waiting for Prince Nolan to leave. In Mystic Healer Valley, it was always like this—eventually, Prince Nolan would give in to her.

Because Prince Nolan was afraid Serena would get tired.

But this time, Prince Nolan refused to be dismissed so easily. After making sure Serena wouldn’t take off the hairpin, he affectionately touched her belly, trying to bond with the child inside.

Serena never responded, like a puppet. Prince Nolan didn’t lose heart; after greeting the baby, he pressed close to Serena again, whispering by her ear, nearly pleading: "Serena, don’t torment me like this, please? My heart hurts so much I can barely breathe."

Prince Nolan, who never showed weakness in front of others, kept humiliating himself to beg Serena for forgiveness. She couldn’t say she wasn’t moved—but…

"It hurts for me too." Serena gripped Prince Nolan’s hand and pressed it to her heart. "The more I love you, the less I can forgive you."

Prince Nolan's heart seized, as if gripped by an invisible hand. He asked softly but urgently, "Serena, you still love me, don't you?"

"I do." If she didn't love him, she wouldn't be hurting so much.

"If you still love me, why do you keep tormenting me?" Ever since Destiny Cliff, he hadn't slept well—just like when he'd clawed his way out of corpses years ago.

"I don't want us to keep hurting each other. So please, let me go. If you want the child, once it's born, I can give it to you." Saying this pained Serena, but she truly didn't want to keep being entangled with Prince Nolan.

The more Prince Nolan did, the more those around her wavered—and so did she. People have feelings; she'd seen how much Prince Nolan had suffered these days...

Even if it was all just a ploy, Prince Nolan had succeeded. She did feel sorry for him.

"Serena, you know what I want isn't the child—it's you. Don't think you can fob me off with the baby." He wanted Serena, and Serena's child.

"Serena, I've already decided—on the day our child turns one month old, I'll hold my enthronement and the empress ceremony. I don't want to force you." Prince Nolan had planned to wait until after the birth, but he couldn't. Serena hadn't softened at all; this time was different.

"Are you trying to force me to disappear forever?" Overbearing and passionate, Prince Nolan refused to accept rejection. She should have known—step by step, forcing her to compromise was his favorite tactic.

"You can't leave. Serena, if you dare go, I'll slaughter the Phoenixfield Clan. Exterminate the Wang Clan." When an emperor is enraged, corpses litter the land. Prince Nolan didn't mind letting Serena see his cruel, murderous side.

"I don't mind becoming a tyrant for you."

"Do you think I care about their lives?" Serena trembled, once again feeling how terrifying Prince Nolan could be.

She knew this man wasn't just talking—he was capable of such things, and would do them.

"It doesn't matter if you care or not. I don't, either." Prince Nolan was telling Serena: he wasn't threatening her with the Phoenixfield and Wang families—if she left, he'd do it regardless.

"Does it really have to be this way?" Serena felt suffocated, trapped alive by Prince Nolan. "What's the point of keeping me here if I'm not happy?"

"As long as you're by my side, I'll be happy." As long as he kept her, they'd have time together. "Serena, you have no choice. No matter what happens, you can only stay by my side. You can't change that."

Prince Nolan had always known Serena was clever—she understood compromise, understood comfort. Unlike him, who only knew how to imprison himself and those around him.

"Serena, you are my fate, my calamity. You can't escape."

"But... I'm so tired." Tears brimmed in Serena's eyes as she stared blankly ahead, unfocused.

Prince Nolan gave her a path, but it was the one she least wanted to walk.

"I'll carry you to rest." Prince Nolan scooped Serena up in his arms, ignoring the deeper meaning in her words.

Serena didn't bother arguing. Prince Nolan was always like this—he only heard what he wanted to hear, only listened to what pleased him. Her refusals, her coldness, he didn't care. As for her feelings, those mattered even less...

Prince Nolan laid Serena on the bed, not caring whether she truly wanted to sleep. Clumsily, he helped her out of her outer robe, then lay down beside her, ignoring her resistance.

Serena turned away, her back to him. Prince Nolan didn't mind—he hugged her from behind. When Serena shrank inward, he pressed closer, until she had no space left.

"Let go of me." Serena had had enough; she tried to jab him away with her elbow, but Prince Nolan would rather get hurt than release her.

Before Serena could speak, Prince Nolan pressed against her back and said softly, "Serena, don't push me away. This might be the last time I ever hold you."

What did he mean by that?