Leveling the Mind Makes Desire Easier to Contain (3)

The corrupt official Heshen came from a modest family, but he received a good education. As a young boy, he was selected to study at the Xian’an Palace Imperial Academy, where he learned the Confucian classics as well as Manchu, Han, and Mongolian scripts. Gifted and diligent, he excelled and quickly rose through the ranks of officialdom, eventually becoming Emperor Qianlong’s favored confidant. However, once in high office, he was blinded by greed, holding dozens of key positions and amassing personal wealth equal to fifteen years of Qing dynasty revenue. After Qianlong’s death, Heshen was arrested and his property confiscated by order of Emperor Jiaqing—a historical event summed up as, “When Heshen falls, Jiaqing is full.” In the end, Heshen was destroyed by his own greed.

Everyone has desires, but wise people know how to restrain them.

To restrain desire means to let go of unnecessary wants and avoid being crushed by the weight of excessive longing. But restraining desire does not mean eradicating it entirely. Healthy desires are the original energy that drives people forward and fuels progress in society. We should preserve those normal aspirations and goals—they push us to pursue and strive.

2. Learn to find happiness in contentment, and practice timely "pruning" of your desires.

A man who lived in abundance nevertheless often felt unhappy. One day, he visited a temple and opened his heart to the master: “Master, how can I reduce my desires? Whenever I gain something, I want more. The more I acquire, the more anxious I become—even losing sleep over wanting something. What should I do?”

The master smiled and said, “Look at these trees. What happens if they aren’t pruned? Their branches and leaves absorb the nutrients from the trunk, growing ever more lush while the trunk becomes weak and thin. How much would such timber be worth? Only with regular pruning can the tree grow tall and strong. Likewise, if we don’t regularly prune our inner desires, even the strongest body will eventually be drained by them. Human desires are endless—once one is satisfied, many more arise. If desires are too numerous and too high, we can never find satisfaction or happiness. It’s better to prune what needs pruning, let go of what needs letting go, so we can live freely.”

As the classic Rooted Wisdom says: Those who are greedy may be rich in possessions but are inwardly impoverished; those who are content may be materially poor but spiritually abundant. As soon as greed arises, desire dissolves our strength, makes us weak, blocks our wisdom, clouds our mind, turns compassion into cruelty, purity into corruption, and ruins the character of a lifetime.

Life is like a small boat—it cannot carry too much material desire or vanity. Forcing yourself to overload it will only cause it to run aground before reaching the opposite shore. Therefore, we must take only what we truly need, and consistently prune our desires.

The prerequisite for pruning desire is a mindset of contentment.

Contentment is an attitude toward life; lasting happiness is a gentle, serene state of mind. "Simple clothes and mulberry meals can bring lifelong joy" is a model of contentment; "Plucking chrysanthemums by the eastern fence, I gaze at the southern mountains in leisure" captures its ease; "Heaven treats me with utmost generosity" expresses the genuine feeling of contentment.

In fact, whether you live happily or not does not depend on how much wealth or power you possess, but on your thoughts and attitude—on whether you know how to be content, and whether you appreciate life’s gifts.

Many people in this world are never satisfied—they fail to notice what they have when they possess it, and only regret it once it’s lost. Thus, the key to a good life is contentment; those who are content are always happy. There are countless things one can pursue, but truly owning them is rare. So we must understand: the more content we are, the more happiness we have. When you’re sick, relief from illness is happiness; when you’re tired, a soft bed is happiness; when you’re cold, a warm coat is happiness; when you’re old, the company of children and grandchildren is happiness…

Whether you feel happy depends on your attitude. If you always complain that your job is too monotonous, your salary too low, your husband lacks ability, your wife isn’t gentle enough, your child didn’t get first place… can you ever feel happy? But if you change your mindset and consider those who struggle to find work or a partner, you’ll feel content with what you have now.

God sent two angels to travel the world, and they witnessed a curious scene:

A ragged beggar saw a boy walking along, bread in his left hand and milk in his right, eating as he went. The beggar, feeling his empty stomach, swallowed mouthfuls of saliva and muttered enviously, “Ah, being able to eat one’s fill is true happiness!”

The boy walked a few steps and saw a girl led by her father into KFC, where they bought a large family bucket. She happily munched on burgers and sipped cola! The boy looked at his bread and milk and muttered enviously, “Sigh! To eat so many delicious foods, that’s real happiness!”

The girl, chewing her burger on the back seat of her father’s motorcycle, suddenly saw a sleek black car speed by. She thought, “To drive such a beautiful car—that’s true happiness!”

But inside that car sat a fugitive, fleeing from the police. Eventually, he was caught. The police put cold handcuffs on him, and he sat in the flashing patrol car. Looking out the window, he saw a beggar wandering aimlessly down the road, and called out enviously, “Ah, to be free and unrestrained—that’s real happiness!”

Hearing this, the beggar suddenly felt joyful. It turned out he was happy after all—how had he never realized it before? So he danced and sang as he went.

After returning, the two angels reported everything they had seen to God, expressing their confusion: “Why is the beggar happy, too?”

This chapter is not finished yet~ Please click the next page to continue reading the rest!

God smiled and said, "Everyone is born with the right to live happily—some people simply fail to notice their happiness. In any case, those who choose a way of life that suits them, and who can live freely, are most likely to find happiness."

In modern society, fierce competition, complex relationships, and a fast pace of life bring great psychological pressure. Many people become confused about happiness—always placing it elsewhere instead of seeking it within themselves, and naturally feeling it is hard to find.

No one's life is perfectly smooth; everyone faces some external constraints. But these constraints can often be resolved inwardly—the key is whether you can find a way of life that truly belongs to you.

There was once a father who pinned all his hopes for happiness on his son.

Years ago, the son wanted to study art and had great talent. But the father insisted that artists were beggars, and sent his son to school so he could one day live in the city—his strongest wish in life. After the son started school, the father boasted to everyone about his son’s academic achievements, saying that once he graduated from college and bought a home in the city, the whole family would move there. How wonderful city life would be!

The son was always obedient, doing whatever his father asked, so his grades were excellent. Eventually, he fulfilled his father’s wish—he worked in the city and soon had a home of his own.

When the Spring Festival arrived, the son invited his father to stay in the city. It was the father’s first long journey, and he gazed out the car window at the colorful world, so excited he couldn’t sleep all night, like a child, watching the scenery outside.

After moving into his son’s home, the father grew increasingly unhappy and struggled to adjust. He couldn’t understand why city people used indoor toilets, why they ate so little, or why he couldn’t sleep on the soft bed. Even smoking at home felt awkward—whenever he wanted a puff of dry tobacco and saw his daughter-in-law’s pained expression, he felt guilty. Worst of all, he couldn’t keep busy—he wanted to cut grass, chop wood, herd cattle, feed pigs… He began to wonder, is this really the life I’ve longed for all these years?

After enduring a month in his son’s home, he finally approached his son with a heavy heart and said, "Let me go home. Dad hopes you’ll save more money so I can retire in the countryside. City happiness—Dad just can’t enjoy it."

Back in his hometown, the father’s smile returned. He told everyone, city life really isn’t for people—nothing is as comfortable and free as living in the countryside!

In truth, we don’t need to envy others’ lives. What you see of others’ lives isn’t necessarily happier than your own. As Arthur Schopenhauer said: People seldom think about what they have, but often dwell on what they lack compared to others.

There was once a pair of twin brothers separated by war. The lively older brother, cold and hungry, became a monk at a temple; the quiet younger brother, by chance, married and had children. When they reunited years later, both became increasingly unhappy: the monk envied his brother’s family warmth, while the householder envied his brother’s peaceful monastic life.

One day, the brothers sat chatting in a small pavilion halfway up the mountain. Suddenly, a landslide struck, and they took refuge in a cave, barely escaping danger. At midnight, the monk worried his brother might be cold, so he gave him his robe; at dawn, the brother, grateful, gave his shirt to the monk.

A few days later, the exhausted brothers were rescued. The monk was sent to the brother’s home, the brother to the temple. They decided to go along with the mistake and experience the lives they had always longed for. The monk worked desperately for food and clothing, but could barely support a family and felt none of the warmth of home. The brother struggled to ring the bell and recite morning prayers, often sleepless, unable to enjoy the leisure of monastic life.

Eventually, exhausted, the brothers returned to their own lives. Only then did they realize there was no need to envy each other’s life.

Constantly envying others leads to confusion in your own life, making you restless and lost. The ultimate cost of envy is losing yourself. If you lose yourself, how can you pursue happiness? Only by not envying others can your days become peaceful and unhurried; you’ll find a way of life that suits you, accomplish your own goals, and live well.

Once you’ve cultivated an attitude of contentment, you can begin to "prune" your desires in the ways mentioned earlier.

(1) Transform jealousy into admiration.

Those who are prone to jealousy are often dissatisfied and quick to anger. But is getting angry useful? Anger only reveals a narrow mind and accomplishes nothing. Instead of sitting around stewing, it’s better to channel your energy into striving.

Everyone should be the builder of their own life. Since you create your own life and cultivate your own mood, there’s no need to get angry over trivial matters.

If you feel others are better or more accomplished than you, work harder to catch up and strive for excellence. Consciously raising your level of thinking is the direct way to overcome jealousy. For those who are stronger or more capable, you should not only admire them, but also adopt the mindset: "I will surpass you." Positive thinking leads to positive action. Aim to rise above, and you’ll bring color to your life.

This chapter is not finished yet~ Please click the next page to continue reading the rest!

Although jealousy and admiration are separated by a thin line, they are worlds apart. The jealous seek pleasure in undermining others for psychological balance, but their own lives are a mess.

In fact, there’s no need to be jealous of others. As the saying goes: "An inch has its strengths, a foot has its weaknesses." Everyone has strengths and shortcomings—why compare your weaknesses to others’ strengths and make yourself miserable? Instead, turn jealousy into motivation, use your effort to narrow the gap, even surpass others, and earn their admiration.

In work and social life, jealousy often arises between two or more parties. Therefore, pay attention to your character, respect and help others—especially your rivals. This not only helps you overcome jealousy, but also protects you from its harm. It can even help you succeed and enjoy life.

An American farm boy named Arthur Walker was highly competitive and often jealous of successful businesspeople. One day, he read about the industrialist Mr. Yates in a magazine. He envied Yates’s great success, but then thought, why be jealous? Jealousy alone won’t bring success—why not seek advice from him, learn more about his experience, and get his guidance? That way, maybe he could succeed too.

With this idea and motivation, Walker went to New York and arrived at Yates’s office at seven in the morning. In the second office, Walker immediately recognized the strong, broad-browed man as Yates, which excited him greatly. At first, the tall Yates found the young man a bit annoying, but when Walker asked, "I’d really like to know how to make a million dollars," Yates’s expression softened, and they talked for nearly an hour. Afterwards, Yates told Walker how to visit other famous industrialists.

Walker followed Yates’s instructions, visiting the top businessmen, editors, and bankers he once envied. The advice he received wasn’t always useful for making money, but he gained confidence from these successful people and began turning jealousy into motivation, imitating their successful methods.

Two years later, this twenty-year-old became the owner of the factory where he was once an apprentice; at twenty-four, he was general manager of an agricultural machinery plant. In less than five years, Walker achieved his goal and earned a million dollars. Later, the boy from a humble country cottage became a member of a bank’s board of directors.

Throughout his entrepreneurial journey, Walker practiced the basic creed he learned in New York: associate with people better than yourself, turn jealousy into learning from their strengths, and use it to help yourself succeed.

Walker’s approach is worth emulating. We can treat those we envy as rivals—not to attack, but to challenge and learn from. As the saying goes: "If you work hard enough, you can grind an iron rod into a needle." Many things others can do, you can do as well—and perhaps even better.

Bill Gates said, "Contact with outstanding people will have a positive influence on you." However, befriending excellent people—like the first time you try to earn a million dollars—is initially quite difficult. The reason isn’t their excellence, but our own jealousy, which keeps us from communicating and connecting openly.

But we must admit that associating with people stronger than ourselves is very beneficial.

First, being around people better than ourselves makes us jealous, unable to tolerate being inferior. If others can do it, so can we, so we try everything to surpass them. Thus, jealousy is transformed into a strong desire to win, driving us to grow quickly and surpass others.