[You are my most bittersweet waiting, making me both joyful and afraid of the future.]
"Crying Sands"—it's an old song, but this was his first time hearing it. For some reason, it struck a chord deep inside him, making him think Zhang Huimei's rendition was absolutely stunning.
That's right, all the memories were restored. On that day, he'd already asked her, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
She had already replied, "What college grad doesn't? Of course I do—he's just out of town."
What was he feeling at the time? Looking back, if he really thinks about it—actually, there wasn't much feeling at all. They'd just met, just gotten to know each other as new colleagues, not even friends yet. It was just small talk, and the answer was no surprise, so he quickly tossed it to the back of his mind. Maybe there was a faint hint of regret, but it was barely noticeable.
Thinking about it now, he was kind of a jerk.
In the physical world, "Crying Sands" hadn't reached the chorus yet, but Jack Young's fingers moved skillfully, and the melody naturally transitioned into another song.
[Open the window and let the loneliness breathe, this room is sealed so tight.]
[The cheers still float in the air, glamorous as if no one were there.]
At that time, Jack Young was just like any young person who'd left their hometown, classmates, and everything familiar to struggle in a big city where they knew no one—surrounded by relentless loneliness. At night, standing on the balcony and looking out at the city lights, watching the distant and nearby flickering lamps, all he could feel was how small he was.
In that loneliness, he was instinctively drawn to a bright, sunny smile. At first, they really were just friends—just friends, at least that's what he thought.
As a guy who knows how to listen, how to be tolerant, and who always seems mature and composed, Jack Young has had lots of friends—guys and girls—since he was a kid. He’s always been great at keeping the right distance with female friends: warm, but never crossing the line, never playing games. When it comes to friendships, he’s pretty mature, and he was sure he could handle things with Daisy Summers too—just friends, nothing more.
Female friends? No big deal, happens all the time. I can handle it.
So, even though they started spending all their time together, he stuck to his boundaries. No physical contact, no risky jokes, no flirty topics—he never did any of that. He just listened, joked around, and offered advice.
He listened to her talk about sweet memories with her boyfriend, learned that she was his junior at college, and that they'd been dating for three years. Her boyfriend graduated a year ago and moved to Shanghai. Technically, it was long-distance, but her boyfriend was a really good guy. "You and him are alike in this way—you both take relationships seriously, never mess around. So honestly, I trust him quite a bit."
Their relationship was solid? Nice, good for them. Plenty of people in long-distance relationships would be jealous.
So, when are you getting married?
"No idea. I've brought it up a few times, but he always says it's not the right time yet, maybe in a few years—do you think it'll just fizzle out?"
Fizzle out? Well, you never know! If your boyfriend keeps dragging his feet, maybe he’s just not that into you—long distance is basically a prelude to breaking up!
Stuff like that—just normal topics, nothing crossing the line.
[I gradually lose all feeling, just treating it as a kind of self-escape.]
[You fly to the edge of the sky, and I don't bother guessing where you'll land.]
But then, things started to change. Looking back at those orange-tinted memories, honestly, he couldn't tell when it began—maybe it started with that whole bicycle incident. Somewhere along the line, something else got mixed into their friendship. Maybe the seed was there from the start, and it just sprouted one stormy day.
When he couldn't see her, he felt down. He told himself, 'Friends feel this way too,' then just shook his head and laughed it off.
When he saw her laughing and chatting with new friends, he felt a pang of jealousy. He told himself, 'Man, what's wrong with me? Why should I even care?' Then he just shook his head and laughed it off again.
Little by little, as they spent time together, he realized things were changing. But he kept telling himself it was no big deal—maybe they were just really good friends, that's all.
He even started lying in bed at night, looking up horoscopes he never believed in before. He started reading about Leo women, saw the results, and felt a little bummed. But he told himself, 'I'm a Gemini, but none of that online stuff matches me at all, so it must be fake, right?' He couldn't believe he was actually paying attention to this kind of thing. 'Haha, what's wrong with me!'
Still, he kept trying to convince himself it was all just an illusion.
Until that day when a bunch of them went to the pool. That day—falling into the water, opening his eyes, meeting her gaze, surfacing, and after all the fun, everyone went their separate ways. Back in his dorm, the smile faded from his face, and he locked himself in the dark room. Tick, tick—the clock made his thoughts even clearer, even harsher. He grabbed his hair, a little pained, and told himself, "No, this can't be, it's just an illusion. We're just friends, that's all."
Just friends, just friends—he kept telling himself, trying to stick to the boundaries of friendship.
As long as he just stayed a friend, there'd be no problems, and things could go on.
The rational thing would be to leave right away. But at that moment, it was like drinking poison to quench his thirst—he knew it was toxic, but somehow, he just couldn't walk away.
But in the end, he couldn't keep lying to himself.
December, early in the month—a group dinner. During the meal, her boyfriend called, and the two started chatting away. Seeing her smile, hearing her cheerful voice, feeling the glow of her happiness, Jack Young just felt his heart twist in pain. That night, he bolted out like he was escaping, but instead of heading back to the dorm, he ran out in his slippers to the street below.
[If only the clouds knew, there's no escaping this tangled prison.]
[Every second my heart aches, every moment tangled up.]
[All that's left is a burning heart.]
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[You would never know.]
He started running. He didn't know why, but he just ran—barefoot in slippers, sprinting through the biting cold wind, farther and farther, until everything around him was unfamiliar. His feet hurt, but he couldn't stop. He just wanted to exhaust himself, to keep his mind off everything, to let the cold wind clear his head. Once he calmed down, he'd tell himself—just friends.
But...
"Screw being just friends!" The boy panted as he walked fast, tearing open his shirt and baring his chest to the world. He yelled at himself, "Stop lying to yourself! Friends aren't like this, friends don't miss each other like this, friends don't get jealous like this. This isn't how friends feel! I... I... I..."
Suddenly, he stopped, clutching his head in pain, bent over, shaking and gasping, "I'm such a jerk. She already has a boyfriend—I'm such a jerk..." Finally, he stood up straight and, facing the distant apartment buildings, shouted at the top of his lungs, "I'm in love! I'm in love for the first time! I finally believe love isn't just an illusion! I really fell for her! But—now I'm the damn jerk! My first love, and I end up the other guy? Hahaha! Ahahahaha! What a freaking—big—fat—joke—this is!"
His shout was scattered by the howling wind. After the roar, the boy stood there quietly for most of the night—frozen like a log, like a stone. The cold wind made him shiver, his skin turning red, but nothing hurt more than his heart.
He couldn't go on like this.
This wasn't right.
That night, in the middle of the darkness, he made a decision—a rational decision...
Back in the real world, Jack Young's fingers stopped moving on the keys. He heard a noise, looked up at the door, and sure enough, it opened. Two women appeared there, both out of breath and looking over. One was Aunt Yang Shu, and the other was Silly Dream.
Back in those days that nearly drove me crazy, if there was anyone I could lean on and talk to, it was her. When my heart moved, my hands followed—a familiar melody began to flow. The confused Chinese musicians glanced at each other, but eventually, they joined in and played along.
Jack Young finally looked over at that spot. Qi Xi, your expression is so complicated, but you don't know the whole story. That year, the story between you and me—what you saw was just the tip of the iceberg.
There's so much you don't know.
[A butterfly blinks a few times before it learns to fly. The night sky is filled with stars—how many will fall to the ground?]
You don't know—on that cold night, the boy called Da Meng and went to her dorm.
You don't know—the boy forced out the most awkward smile ever, his voice dry as he said they should break off contact, said they should never see each other again. You don't know what he was feeling then.
But that night, Da Meng's expression was etched into his memory too.
That day, the two of them sat together on the couch. When Da Meng heard him say 'let's break up,' she didn't panic—she just asked softly, "Why?"
The boy was silent for a long time, then finally took a deep breath and admitted, "Because I suddenly realized I've fallen for Silly Xi."
Da Meng was silent for a long, long time, then finally shook her head and asked the same three words: "Why?"
"Why..." The boy was stunned, because that second 'why' could mean so many things. Was she asking why he liked Silly Xi? Or something else? Her tone was so heavy, with a hint of hidden frustration, that he couldn't figure out what she was really asking.
Da Meng shook her head, sighed, and finally explained, "Why break off contact? Are you just trying to draw a line?"
"Yeah." The boy admitted, "Maybe some people would say, 'You aren't even married, so what's the big deal if you steal her away?' But if you like someone, you shouldn't ruin her happiness. She's doing great with her boyfriend—I can't go messing that up. So I think it's best if we don't see each other anymore. And you, Da Meng, you're just caught in the crossfire. It's just that you two are always together, so I guess it's awkward for us to meet now. I think this is what I should do—what I have to do, so..."
"No, no, that's totally wrong! You're being way too stubborn, way too self-righteous, way too full of yourself!" Da Meng, rarely this worked up, got in his face, a little out of control as she shouted, "What do you think love is? You think you can just draw a line and that's that? Sure, you can keep your distance, but can you really separate your feelings? You think leaving is the right thing? Well, guess what? You don't get to decide that all by yourself! You, you, you..."
Her big eyes stared at Jack Young, almost sparkling. She bit her lip, her voice trembling: "What about you? What are you going to do? Walking away hurts—a lot. Trust me."
"I..." The boy looked at Da Meng, but after a long pause, he finally pressed his lips together and said heavily, "Please keep this secret for me. I have to try."
So, that winter, that December, he suddenly vanished. And sure enough, Da Meng kept her promise—she never told anyone.
He stopped taking the shuttle, stopped mooching meals, started working overtime like crazy—even when Silly Xi invited him out, he always found excuses to avoid her.
Winter came, gray and gloomy. Even that familiar road lost its shine, lost its dreamlike feel, and every day he walked it alone.
He started binge-watching anime, playing games, reading recipes, working on his cooking skills, trying to date other girls—anything to distract himself.
But none of it was easy.
Logic told him he had a ton of work and needed to get enough sleep every day, but he just couldn't fall asleep.
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Logic told him he was burning tons of energy and needed to eat well every day—but he just couldn't eat.
Logic told him the world was big and exciting, full of beautiful girls and countless ways to blow off steam. But he just couldn't find a way out, so he started talking to himself. Every day on his cold walk home from work, he'd have these little conversations in his head.
He joked that he was an idiot, cursed himself as an idiot. Said he was hopeless, couldn't get over even the smallest thing; said, honestly, his taste wasn't even that great—if he really thought about it, he couldn't figure out what was so special about Silly Xi, right?
He talked to himself the whole way home. He knew that to outsiders, he probably seemed like a lunatic. But he couldn't help it; some things you just have to say to yourself.
Logic, emotion, morality—they clashed and battled every single day.
Logic said: She has a boyfriend, so there are only two options—leave, or steal her away.
Emotion said: I don't want to leave.
Morality said: I can't steal her away.
Maybe being someone's boyfriend or girlfriend isn't the same as being married, so getting involved doesn't technically make you the third wheel.
But if he really thought about it, Silly Xi's boyfriend—the guy he'd never met but who'd already left him battered and broken—was innocent! The boy wanted to believe in and protect the purity and beauty of love. If he put himself in the guy's shoes, working hard to keep a long-distance relationship going, stealing his girlfriend would just be messed up—way too cruel.
It was like he'd turned into a computer stuck in a logic loop—no matter how many times he hit Enter, he couldn't solve the problem, couldn't break free. Like Da Meng said, even if you leave, your feelings get even more tangled. In just fifteen days, he lost fifteen pounds. From a fit, healthy guy, he became gaunt and haggard.
Until the end of December, on the fifteenth day, Silly Xi came looking for him. The moment she brought him milk, the moment he saw Da Meng's worried, caring eyes, he gave a defeated smile.
That day, he had his second heart-to-heart with Da Meng. He had to admit defeat.
He failed.
He still couldn't let go.
At that moment, Da Meng showed him a way out. (Want more updates on "Extraordinary Twins"? Open WeChat, click the "+" in the top right, select "Add Friends," search for "Qidianzhongwenwang," and follow the official account so you never miss an update!)